Remember Gooby?  

Sure, that was only a week ago, but we’ve got another creepy-animal-plus-little-boy-equals-friendship feature length film for you.   We give you "Tommy and the Cool Mule."  Best part?  The creepy animal- a donkey- is voiced by Ice T.  

Ice T: the gansta rapper, the actor, and now, the talking donkey.  I wonder if he gave the kid a copy of his best selling book, The Ice Opinion: Who Gives a F*@#! ?  I guess you don't care much if you're voicing a donkey in a sub-par children's movie, do you, Ice T?

According to this article, German officials found traces of cocaine in Red Bull Cola.  

I knew there was a reason I couldn't stop talking about my "wings" when I drank it.

[Article and Photo via Time]

From Daniel Tosh's Twitter, we get this moment of personal reflection:

Im I scared that my show will suck? Yes. But I sleep well knowing the bar has not been set very high.

If you're not following Daniel yet, what are you waiting for?!  Go!

On the internet, you can buy anything. You can even buy the failed attempts at Lego high-fashion by big-name designers.

Wait — isn't the point of Legos that even a 4-year-old can design with them?

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BELT BUCKLE

The Marc Jacobs Spring collection in 2007 included a Lego belt buckle. The part you don't see in the picture is when the model got to the end of the run way, thought of an awesome idea for a space ship, and her pants fell down.

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CUFF LINKS

These could be such a big hit with business executives — if only they came in black onyx with gold trim and a glow-in-the-dark monogram.

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SUNGLASSES

Last week, we saw these hipster-y Lynx Optique sunglasses hit the scene. How retro and ironic!

They better come with building instructions for building Kanye West variations.

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HAIR

In 2004, Brazilian designer Jum Nakao put a whole slew of his models in Lego hairpieces. When people tried to remove the wigs, their heads would pop off and get lost between the seat cushions.

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NECKLACE

Even the front cover of Vogue couldn't make this trend take off. Okay, so, it was Russian Vogue.

I'm betting the original prototype for this necklace is in a Tupperware container at a daycare center in Azbuka.

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This weekend on Twitter, people were tweeting like crazy about "3 Words During Sex." More like "3 Words You Wouldn't Say During Sex."

Here are my top ten favorite tweets that were hash tagged with #3wordsduringsex, and they're pretty funny, whether or not you're a twitter lover.

1. Gross. Gross. Gross.
   @seanoconnz
2. Wait, I'm peeing.
   @ramsincanon
3. I'm calling Maury.
   @ronpurtee
4. Wait, it's you?
   @braunger
5. Should I dismount?
   @thegynomite
6. Are you serious?
   @AmberTozer
7. Is that normal?!
   @Ulef
8. Please Stop Laughing
   @TomPenrose
9. Where's my receipt?
   @friedmanjon
10. Get my meds.
    @Samwise73

Got your own?  Let us know in the comments.

The iconic Mr. T took a lot of flak on ESPN (and, subsequently, on the net) after his appearance yesterday at Wrigley Field, throwing out the opening pitch for the Chicago Cubs on Memorial Day and leading the crowd in "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

But give T a break.  The blame rests squarely on the Cubbies.  What the heck does Mr. T have to do with Memorial Day?  Wearing the stars and stripes as pants was the only way he could look relevant.  Sure, he briefly served in the Army, but is this really how the city of Chicago wants to pay their respects to America's fallen… with '80's nostalgia and empathetic ogling of a fallen celebrity?

"I pity the Cubs' promotional department's sensibilities."

[via Best Week Ever]

Start your Memorial Day Weekend off right.

• KFC Hero — Because some people really think "KFC Famous Bowls" are a really good idea.
• Man Wins 12 lbs. of Pot Back — Reporter notes the man "loves the smell of it."  That's not the only thing he loves.
• Roaming Bear Spotted in Seattle— Is it that big of a mystery to hunt down a 7 ft. bear?
• Woman Gives Birth Without Knowing She Was Pregnant — Ummm, what?
• Mary Kay Letourneau Hosts 'Hot for Teacher' Party – Continuing a lifetime of bad decision making.

This dude has taken an exorbitant amount of time and created a whole website for the sole purpose of listing stories, examples, and subjects of seemingly every single argument he's had with his girlfriend, Margaret.

Wow.

Feel free to browse this monstrosity yourself, but here is our favorite story about something that sparked a fight between this computer loving victim and his "violent psychopath" of a girlfriend:

'What are you doing?' she asks.
Trying to concentrate on something, distracted and harassed, I reply with some degree of acerbic aggravation.
'What does it look like I'm doing?'
There's a beat, during which we hold each others eyes, unblinking.
It's immediately after this beat has passed that I realise I'm wearing no trousers.
There is, it's opulently redundant of me to add, a perfectly reasonable and innocuous explanation for why I'm browsing the web alone in my attic with no trousers on, but you're all busy people and I know you have neither the inclination nor the time to waste hearing it.

Oh, no, we'd love to hear it. No trousers at the computer? Nice.

Listen, if you have this much time to make a website about how hard it is to get along with you girlfriend, why not just find one you actually have something in common with?

Or you could learn how to make a better website.

You've got options, my friend, options.

[via Reddit]

The internet used to be "the tool of the devil," but now, according to The Register, the Vatican declared "the internet blessed." Looks like someone discovered tentacle porn.

Amen.

[photo courtesy of roblisameehan]

It's Friday; you've got a long Memorial Day weekend ahead of you and you're not sure what to do. Good news! I can help.

How about making some deep fried mayonnaise balls and eating those while watching Daniel Tosh makes some hilarious jokes about them?

Follow this link for the recipe from our friends at friedmayonnaise.com and watch the video below. Goes together like a horse and carriage. Or cholesterol and obesity.

You're welcome.