Laser Cat Makes His Own Pet Door

The net is overflowing with people "humorously" labeling their cat photos.  [I put "humorously" in quotes as a way to displace my pent up rage.]

What gets neglected though is that these photos don't just materialize out of thin air: They don't take themselves.  A series of events leads up to every one of these camera captured moments.

Below see my dramatization of what I believe may have been the actual series of events that led to this "Laser Cat" photo.

"Dude, so I was hammered.  Piss-myself-drunk.  And I'm bangin' on the door because Kevin had stashed the meth in there.  But the door is locked.  So I start kicking it, and kicking it.  And I'm scremin', 'F—in' a!  If I can't get this s—, I'll never make my shift at the FedEx Kinko!'  And the cat is just staring at me… staring in my soul.

"And I'm like, 'Come on, cat!  I need this! I need this job!'  But he's just stares deeper!  So I'm like, 'Don't you judge me!'  But he knows.  He knows I pissed away the money for my correspondence course at the bar.

"And I'm in a rage, like, 'DON'T JUDGE ME!' and I kick the door one more time and I kick a hole in that son-of-a-bitch.  And I realize what I've done and what I've become, so I just curl up in a ball right then and there and start cryin'.  I'm just bawlin' and I realize, I have a problem.  I need help.

"So like, the next day, I need to take a picture of the damage to show my landlord and I'm taking the picture and there's the cat, staring at me again, because he knows what I'd done…  He knows.  He'll always remember.

"So then I posted a link to the pic on my Twitter to show Charlie how much damage I'd done and he's like, 'Dude!  You've gotta a freakin' Laser Cat!'

"And that's how that started."

[via Buzzfeed]