Beak Job

Yeah, but can he sweet-talk you first? Didn't think so.

This stupid bird trying to eat someone's finger has been everywhere for the past few days. I cannot believe this. The internet should not be trusted with watching whatever videos it wants anymore.

Here's what happened: Someone put their finger into a hungry bird's mouth. What the hell do you expect it to do? Of course it's going to try to eat your finger. Why is that unexpected enough to be funny? A bird already has its eyes on the sides of its head, add to that a mouth that's open as wide as a Peanuts character's — the poor thing's eyes are pointed in the exact opposite direction of your finger. It only knows to clamp down on whatever its mother puts in there. Animals have these things called "instincts." Clearly, the internet does not have such instincts when it comes to humor.