Old People Should Stay Away From The Internet

The chairman of the FCC, Julius Genachowski, decided to use a bunch of Bruce Springsteen's song titles in a speech yesterday about preserving an 'open internet:'

“Everywhere from the Streets of Philadelphia to My Hometown in New York, every Bobby Jean and every Jersey Girl l should be counting on the Internet remaining free and open, not Counting on a Miracle. They should count on The Rising of millions of voices to beat back any Darkness on the Edge of Town, or broadband Badlands that could threaten limited choice and create potential bottlenecks.

“The people who built the Internet were working on more than a computer network, they were Working on a Dream. It was a network that was Born to Run in a land of open protocols, (the Promised Land). The Internet is more than an information highway, it is a telecom Thunder Road of wonderfully chaotic creativity and it will be a Lonesome Day if that is ever lost. But, hold on, Janey, Don’t You Lose Heart, because the FCC will be taking up open Internet rules in the near future.”

Wow, thanks Genachowski.  Not only have you just composed the lamest speech ever, you've just proved to everyone how old you are.  And you know how old people are terrified of computers…

[via Fark]