Isn't browsing internet good enough on its own? Apparently, many Firefox users would disagree with me.
Firefox is known for its copious amount of add-ons that can enhance your browsing experience. But if your idea of "enhancement" is loading up on 400 add-ons, you should consult one of your three dictionary toolbars to get a new definition of the word "enhance." If you think slowing your browsing down to a stand-still is worth color-coding your browser tabs, you're nuts.
I'm game for a few tweaks, but if you're completely impeding my ability to look at web pages with sanity… then forget it. Beware of these ridiculous extensions that take add-on excess to a new level.
Add-On: Christian Anti-Porn
Description: "Flee sexual immorality (1Co 6:18). Christian Anti-Porn will filter links and alert the user if any porn websites are clicked. This will not block but warn every Christian that he is going to crucify Jesus Christ again if he proceeds to such websites."
Whoever developed this add-on has come across the ultimate anti-porn algorithm: God. I bet He's pretty mathematically sound.
When you visit a porn site, an alert window will "warn every Christian that he is going to crucify Jesus Christ again." That must be a pretty tough pill to swallow. In fact, those Christians will probably have to look at twice as much porn to keep it up after such a disturbing interruption.
See four more annoying add-ons after the jump…
Add-on: China Channel
Description: Filters the internet just like it would appear in China.
If you thought Jesus was a good website censor, you should try the Chinese government! This Add-on provides browsers with "China-vision" of the web.
In China, the government regulates and monitors the internet to counter anti-government dissenters (if you consider "Yahoo" dissent). For a similar effect, just switch your AOL settings to "Kids Only."
Better get this one soon! I heard the U.S. government is thinking about banning it.
Description: "An extension that greets you!"
Right now it's in version 1.2 but I can't wait to see all the extra functionality in 1.3! Maybe it'll toss a "Hello" in there just to throw you for a loop.
It doesn't stop there for developer, Senthil Kumar C. Check out his homepage which says "WELCOME" across the top and has only one post titled "Welcome to my humble abode." This man must think that greetings are the only important thing in the world! He's the guy who will just say "Hi" to you on AIM and have nothing to say after that. And he wants your Firefox experience to be that exact same way: cordial, yet awkward.
Add-on: The JackassBar
Description: Creates a toolbar that says "You're a Jackass."
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is the most demoralizing add-on ever.
There's nothing like having a whole toolbar across your screen constantly reminding you that you're a jackass. Even if you doubt it for a second — you're making historical corrections on James A. Garfield's Wikipedia page that have gone unnoticed for nearly 8 months and you get a burst of confidence, thinking "I can't still be a jackass, can I?" — you can click on it and it will relentlessly confirm with: "I told you that you're a jackass."
Add-on: Consciousness Bell
Description: "Plays a Tibetan bowl chime at random intervals to evoke mindfulness."
The fail videos, the flashing ads, the violent games… personally, to get through a day of browsing the web I usually have to enter some sort of Zen-like state. But that's not how it is for everyone.
Most of us use the internet during the work day when we're trying to be productive. So, when you're doing something like checking email, do you really want to get interrupted by a siren that reminds you about things like "mind," "breath" and "calm"? Hell no. That's not what they're paying you for.
Quit taking breaks and get back to work. There's a reason your company sits you at a desk and not on a yoga mat.