The Internet is Infecting Our Pumpkins

In some ways, Halloween is the antithesis of Internet culture.

Unlike online where we hide behind codified user handles and alien avatars so we can interact with strangers in a virtual world, Halloween is one of the few times we dress up our physical bodies in bizarre costumes and go interact with strangers IRL (you know, in real life).

We need to protect this separation of church and state!  We need to keep our hot side hot and our cool side cool!

That's why Mashable's list of "12 Awesome Social Media Halloween Pumpkin Carvings" is an abomination!

Digg jack-o'-lanterns, Reddit jack-o'-lanterns, even the freakin' Twitter-inspired jack-o'-lantern you see above.  I'm usually anti-pumpkin smashing (the band and the physical activity of ruining pumpkins), but consider this post an official call to arms!

We need to stop the Internetizing of Halloween ASAP or all could be lost!  Dressing up as your favorite Internet superstar is one thing, but turning pumpkins into Internet advertising campaigns is going too far.

Next thing you know, people will be giving out virtual candy instead of candied apples.  You can't stick a razor blade in virtual candy!  Kids can't download a week long stomach ache!  You can't delete a Goldenberg Peanut Chew: You have to chuck it back at the home of the person who gave it to you!  That's Halloween!

Come on, everyone!  Saving Halloween FTW!!