Someone has apparently created a website to get attention and Twitter followers beg Miley Cyrus to return to Twitter; otherwise they're going to kill their cat, Fuzzy.

From their site:

The idea is very simple. I've set a deadline of November 16, 2009, when Fuzzy will part with his life and become a meal. I do not consider myself a cruel person and I do love my cat. Fuzzy will receive quick and swift death and I'll try to minimize his suffering.

Let me clarify: This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it's part of our culture. I'm not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn't tweet again, this WILL happen, and I'm as serious as a heart attack.

Yeah, right. BOR-ING!

You want Miley back on Twitter? Threaten to kill a baby. That's what I'm going to do. If you want the job done then do it right. You listening, Miley Cyrus? I don't need attention and Twitter followers like that cat killing freak; I can just SAY it on this blog to show I'm serious.

Miley Cyrus, return to Twitter or I'm going to kill a baby!

THIS BABY.

Oh, wait. I forgot that I never followed Miley Cyrus or give a flying poop about what she's doing EVER.
No worries, I'll still kill the baby.

Kidding! Kidding! Just the cat.

[via Dlisted]

Some people believe this garbage. That's why I'm afraid to post this — because it might actually convert a few people to alternative medicine. To be safe, don't watch it for more than 3 minutes. I wasn't so lucky.

"Hopefully everyone's had chemistry… like, um, in school… way back when?" Call me homeopathic-phobic, but it's probably not a good sign when a lecture starts by making sure that the audience hasn't thought about science since elementary school.

Here's something else she says: "If you take that formula, E=MC^2, you can almost cross out mass. So the formula ends up being: energy equals the speed of light." Yes, she actually said that. Energy equals the speed of light. And I don't have energy in the morning unless I have a coffee. Therefore, coffee equals the speed of light.

Science and medical blogs have been bashing this homeopathy breakdown over the past 24 hours. But it wasn't until I read one user's comment on Reddit that I truly began to believe in homeopathy:

Okay so you have this smart person that you may have heard of. Take their major science break through that has nothing to do with what I am saying. Alright are you still with me. Then take this other guy who you may have also heard of. Combine the two together and add a ton of complete bullshit. We take this bullshit and condense it down into pellets. We then sell our condensed bullshit pellets to you. Profit!

When I first saw the pic above, I almost scrolled right past it.

Lame, right?  It's just some cat chillin' in a bag of toilet paper rolls.  The photo isn't particularly well shot.  Actually, I'd go so far as to say it is poorly framed.  What f-stop are they using??

Even the TP is generic.  "Luxury Bathroom Tissue"?  Where's that from?  Smart & Final???

But then it dawned on me…  Who wouldn't want to wipe their ass with some punk ass cat?!

That'll teach you, cat!  Me using you to clean my behind!  That would put an end to all your arrogant LOLing!

For the record, I would never do such things to a cat.  My cat and I are actually hanging out right now.  He seems to really like Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…

[via UniqueDaily]

There is nothing in life as important as having a shirt that is also an electric guitar.

Check that.  There are a few things in life that are more important than having a shirt that is also an electric guitar.  On this list, I would include food, water, shelter, additional clothing that may or may not double as an instrument, a toothbrush would be nice (especially for those around you), and maybe having held someone you love in your arms.

But after that, a guitar shirt is top priority.

ThinkGeek, the online shop that is pushing these shirts, has definitely been hoping to use viral marketing in their favor.  I saw the shirt on some website yesterday and thought, Hm, I wouldn't mind seeing that in action. And, today, I see the video on BuzzFeed.

After seeing the vid, two things struck me.  Uh, one, the shirt appears to kind of suck.  And two, why the heck doesn't the bassist have a bass-playing shirt?

The guitarist has a guitar shirt, the drummer has a drum shirt…  Seriously?  Bass is by far the easiest of the three instruments to play.  Was making a bass shirt not challenging enough for the shirt designers??

I'm calling a big WTF!

Not that banner ads are known for their accurate depictions of truth and reality (typically they involve conning suckers into playing the easiest flash game ever created in an attempt to sell travel packages), but the specific banner ad seen above is just egregious.

What's with the before and after pics?

"4 weeks later I was bigger and buffer and — oh yeah — I also shaved my chest and got about a decade worth of tattoos all over my arms."

What was this guy thinking? Sleeves? All the fat must've gone from his stomach to his head. If you're going to show off your sexy new chest with a killer swastika tat on your left pec, that's one thing, but you can get sleeves even when you are a "fat slob."  In fact, comparing the two pics, the arms are the one body party that doesn't even look that different.  Screw the weight loss, you coulda just gone with the sleeves, man!

But that logic would assume that these two pics are the same person, and, they obviously aren't.

[via Woosk]

Amazing happens on Tosh.0.

TUNE IN to a BRAND NEW EPISODE of TOSH.0 this Thursday at 10p/9c on Comedy Central!!!

This image been passed around lately.

Someone's MS Paint skills are sharp — but their imagination is even sharper. Then again, the internet is a dirty place. We can only hope this was drawn from imagination and not from experience.

I'm extremely frightened that someone is going to create a goatse version. Letting all that light in is going to reveal some disturbing stuff.

Earlier today, Urlesque (pronounced "er-lesk," not "U-R-L-esk," as those jerks over at AOL always like to remind me!) unleashed a comprehensive collection of photos of Internet meme cakes — everything from the 2 Girls, 1 Cup cake seen above (not very appetizing) to a "Yo Dawg" Xzibit-inspired cake (a cake with a smaller cake on top of it).

Looking at these cakes, an odd sadness comes over me.  To fully understand and obsess over most memes, one must spend hour upon hour surfing about on the massive ocean that is the Internet.  Most would admit that this use of the net is a giant time-suck: A time-suck almost equal to the amount of hours one must dedicate to properly baking a cake.

Thus, baking a meme cake is the crowning jewel of any time waster, a way of proclaiming to the world: "I am never productive!"  Godspeed these meme cake bakers and their monumental laziness.

…

Okay, I know, I know.  Some of you are thinking, Mike, seriously, cakes?  This post is totally lame.

I totally agree.  If you want to see something much cooler and a little NSFW, check out this link: http://bit.ly/2Z6kab.  It'll definitely make up for this silly cake post.

I sure am posting createfarts.com, sure am.

Because I've not yet seen a site like this — with such poor design, stupid function, and corny humor — that sums up what the Internet means to me more accurately.   I bet hundreds of thousands of people create farts, laugh and pass it onto their friends.

You can choose your fart's "sound control" to be "cops show up!"  "Cops show up!"

That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen, and I love it.  Even though there's only a few different fart noises that play no matter what options you chose, who cares!? FARTS!!!

Oh, Internet, you're the biggest time wasting, brain numbing thing to ever exist.  Thank you.

Via Comedy Central's Indecision blog, I was alerted of this recent news story: Turns out California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hid a secret message in a veto letter to lawmakers (as can be clearly seen above).

I haven't seen an acrostic poem since 4th grade!

This got me thinking: Arnold has shown a sense of humor on Twitter, and now he fancies himself a cryptographer, so why not combine these two virtues into a Twitter game? Hide dickish messages (with caps) in your apparently friendly Tweets!

Here's my first example:

very Fond of this bUrrito I’m Consuming. kicKs butt. but Yesterday’s pastrami was even more OUtstanding. #FUarnold

You're usually confined to just 140 characters. By adding a secret message, you get additional characters! It's double-messaging!

Send these passive-aggressive encoded tweets to your friends and co-workers, just be sure to tag them with #FUarnold so we know what the heck you're talking about.

Or if you need unlimited characters, leave a comment below.