Get a bad holiday gift?

No need to worry. There's a website out there for you. Why? Because it's the world wide web, that's why.

*Sigh.* I feel like I say that everyday at this job. (Because I do).

Anyway, this idea's kind of entertaining — you go this site, Badgiftemporium.com, post what you've got to pawn off (like the Mexican jumping beans above), and a buyer finds you.

It's kind of like eBay. Except, well, there is no "except." You can probably find all these awful gifts on eBay too. Ah, well. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

Especially when it's ironic, right? Check it out, it looks just like Urban Outfitters!

I'm going to be spending my Christmas wondering why this is a real thing.

Think you can explain it? Tell us in the comments and have a very happy holiday!

I know what you're thinking: it's too late to buy Christmas presents.

But it's never too late after you see our special Tosh.0 gift guide. Why?

Because it's dramatically way better than the dumb kitchen towels and golf tees that you bought for your family, guaranteed. So buckle up, get out your wallets, and get ready to buy some weird holiday gifts online.

The full list is after the jump, so JUMP!
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The craziest, Christmas-colored sparkly GIF image I have ever seen.

What is this?  Tell me!  Tell me now!!

[via juliasegal]

Leave it to Communist China to ruin Christmas!

…

Whoops!  I've been informed that this young man is actually Japanese, and that the thing he is doing — which is known in Asia as "beatboxing" — he is actually supposedly quite good at.

I apologize to everyone I offended.  The Chinese.  The Japanese.  The Communist.  And the Jews, who I did not directly offend, but who are probably offended by all the Christmas-related posts this week.

[via BoingBoing]

Do you want to see a kangaroo fighting a goose with overdubbed kung-fu sound effects?

What am I?  An idiot?  Of course you do!

You know what, Avatar can have its $77 million.  This is my Avatar.

To escape reality, I don't go into the jungle of Pandora to watch the blue people's epic battle against an awkwardly modern portrayal of the future of capitalism, I go to the Internet to watch the kangaroo in his the epic battle versus a goose!

Eywa has heard me!!!!

[via Nothing To Do With Arbroath]

A partridge on a cell phone.

Get with it, guys.  It's almost 2010.  That may or may not be the year The Jetsons takes place.

[Note: That is obviously not a partridge and The Jetsons obviously did not take place in the year 2010. The Jetsons was set in the year 2062 and no one can tell different types of birds apart.  That's impossible.  Even in the year 2062 when entire meals come in pill forms and robots wear aprons.

If you're wondering what The Jetsons have to do with Christmas and why I am typing in italics, I have no idea.  End note.]

[via UniqueDaily]

You are very, very… Oh, listen to you talk, man.  Do you hear yourself?  Do you hear yourself??

Holy smokes.  You are so annoying.  I'm going to lose it listening to you talk, though.

Yeah, I can hear you fully, man.  Listen to how dumb you sound.  Can you hear yourself?

Listen to yourself.  Holy smokes.  You are so annoying.  Listen to yourself.  You are so annoying.  Holy sh*t.

See how dumb you sound?

Holy sh*t, listen to how duuumb you sound!

Oh my god.

[via Reddit]

Boston.com reports on the decline in the Christmas card, saying "Season’s greeting cards spread a bit thin this year."

“We see a 10 to 15 percent decline in the overall volume of mailed paper greeting cards this year,’’ said Neil Hendry, of Datamonitor, a New York-based retail analysis firm. “There are two principle reasons: technology and the economy.’’

Pardon my Scrooge-itude, but I say good riddance.

You know what Christmas cards are?  Garbage.  Each year people are mailing stacks of garbage to all their friends and relatives.

In the old days, a letter was necessary to send information, maybe tell people what you've been up to.  A Christmas card still tells people what you've been up to, only now, what you've been up to is becoming a douche bag.

Because instead of sending an email, you are sending paper waste and forcing your friends to dispose of it for you.

God, who some people believe created Christmas by the way, has given us the gift of the Internet to spread holiday cheer in a far more environmentally friendly and economically savvy manner.

Just go with it, people!

As long as you don't stoop this low:

Beth Charbonneau…reluctantly swapped a holiday greetings model dating back to the 1800s for this four-sentence posting on Facebook: “Dear Everyone, Please consider this your holiday card for the year. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, and so on. Sorry to be a lame friend but, really, I’m just not Superwoman. I admit defeat on holiday cards.’’

No, Beth, you are not Superwoman, but you do appear to be a self-righteous, self-centered jerk.

For you, I'll send a stack of Christmas card that you have to throw out.  That seems like a proper punishment.

[via Reddit]

Snow globes are a staple of the holiday season.

I think as a society we can all agree it is worth having one random plane blown up so that we all may enjoy the holiday tradition of giving snow globes.

Agreed?

[via BuzzFeed]