How to Build a Time Machine: Abridged Version
Yesterday, Stephen Hawking had an article published in the UK's Mail Online entitled "How to build a time machine." (Probably to help promote his new Discovery show "Stephen Hawking's Universe." That son of a bitch has always been such a sell out.)
Now, you could go read his long, dense article. That's what I did. And I understood every word. That's why I am qualified to explain it to you.
You see, though possible, it isn't plausible. For his version, "All you need is a wormhole, the Large Hadron Collider or a rocket that goes really, really fast." Yeah, getting those things is a pain in the ass. Trust me.
Instead, try my abridged version: All you need is a dark closet, a copy of Pink Floyd's Ummagumma (the Live album part, not the bullshit Studio album part) and about 50 grams of DMT.
Back in time you go. Don't forget to tell the dinosaurs I said hi, jerks.
[via The Daily What]
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