Finally, I Can Get Behind the Juggalos

If you haven't heard yet, Tila Tequila was attacked over the weekend at The Gathering of the Juggalos.  And if you haven't heard, I envy you.  TMZ recently released the above footage of Tila's "performance."

Now, I'm not going to support anyone getting attacked for any reason.  (I'm one of those bleeding hearts who keeps whining that we should get out of Afghanistan.)

But, if I had to get behind a public assaulting, I'd say targets don't get much more worthy than Tila Tequila.

For someone who's life is built around public exposure, Ms. Tequila has been hiding her entire life.  Hiding behind a fake name.  Hiding behind the digital barriers of sites like Myspace and Twitter.  Hiding behind the pages of magazines.  Hiding within the fake reality of reality TV.  Hiding within the buffered celebrity circles of Los Angeles.

So here's the deal, Tila: If you're going to take your shit out to Hardin County, Illinois , you better be prepared for some first-hand, middle-American feedback.  And if you can't handle that, don't go out to The Gathering of the Juggalos.  With all your success, you probably want people to think you're more intelligent than you let on.  If that's the case, you should have known what you were getting into.

However, if your plan is to continue to act like a spoiled little child your entire life, I'd recommend you continue to hide, because the rest of the world doesn't take kindly to that kind of shit.  Bitch.

Hm…  Maybe I could fit in with the Juggalos after all?