Tosh.0 Blog

Old Swedish Women Reenact Internet Memes

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 29, 2009 at 6:00PM

If you thought an old man reading Miley Cyrus tweets was a great idea — how 'bout old Swedish women reenacting internet memes down to a tee? It's one Swedish ISP's way of celebrating their 10th anniversary.

But ultimately, this video is disappointing. They've got Afro Ninja (notice the impeccable "sniff" she does). They've got Tay Zonday. They've got Chris Crocker. They've got Bad Day. They went to all that trouble — and there's not even a nod to Grape Stomp Lady?

Fail. I'm never using a Swedish ISP. Comcast might try to throttle my bandwidth, but they totally would've given Grape Stomp Lady a nod.

[via Switched]

Unclaimed Domain Name: ScareTheShitOutOfKids.com

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 29, 2009 at 4:00PM

Boo! This week's unclaimed domain:

ScareTheShitOutOfKids.com

.

Saturday is Halloween. When you're too old to trick-or-treat, there's only one thing left to do: ScareTheShitOutOfKids.com.

Here are some things you could put on ScareTheShitOutOfKids.com:

For the first time ever, last week's unclaimed domain name went unclaimed! It's still unregistered! But the week before's finally has a site on there! From the site:

I think I was drunk when I read the Tosh.0 blog on Comedy Central about this unclaimed domain name. So then I bought the damned thing. Now what the hell do I do with it?

That's what I like to hear! Too bad people weren't more drunk last week.

If you're too drunk to buy a domain name, here's a how-to. Grab ScareTheShitOutOfKids.com before you sober up!

Homeopathy, Explained

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 29, 2009 at 1:00PM

Some people believe this garbage. That's why I'm afraid to post this — because it might actually convert a few people to alternative medicine. To be safe, don't watch it for more than 3 minutes. I wasn't so lucky.

"Hopefully everyone's had chemistry… like, um, in school… way back when?" Call me homeopathic-phobic, but it's probably not a good sign when a lecture starts by making sure that the audience hasn't thought about science since elementary school.

Here's something else she says: "If you take that formula, E=MC^2, you can almost cross out mass. So the formula ends up being: energy equals the speed of light." Yes, she actually said that. Energy equals the speed of light. And I don't have energy in the morning unless I have a coffee. Therefore, coffee equals the speed of light.

Science and medical blogs have been bashing this homeopathy breakdown over the past 24 hours. But it wasn't until I read one user's comment on Reddit that I truly began to believe in homeopathy:

Okay so you have this smart person that you may have heard of. Take their major science break through that has nothing to do with what I am saying. Alright are you still with me. Then take this other guy who you may have also heard of. Combine the two together and add a ton of complete bullshit. We take this bullshit and condense it down into pellets. We then sell our condensed bullshit pellets to you. Profit!

I 'Was' A Fat Slob

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 29, 2009 at 10:00AM

"getting ripped OFF in 4 weeks"

Not that banner ads are known for their accurate depictions of truth and reality (typically they involve conning suckers into playing the easiest flash game ever created in an attempt to sell travel packages), but the specific banner ad seen above is just egregious.

fat-slob-picWhat's with the before and after pics?

"4 weeks later I was bigger and buffer and — oh yeah — I also shaved my chest and got about a decade worth of tattoos all over my arms."

What was this guy thinking? Sleeves? All the fat must've gone from his stomach to his head. If you're going to show off your sexy new chest with a killer swastika tat on your left pec, that's one thing, but you can get sleeves even when you are a "fat slob."  In fact, comparing the two pics, the arms are the one body party that doesn't even look that different.  Screw the weight loss, you coulda just gone with the sleeves, man!

But that logic would assume that these two pics are the same person, and, they obviously aren't.

[via Woosk]

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 28, 2009 at 6:00PM

Changing your perspective on things

This image been passed around lately.

Someone's MS Paint skills are sharp — but their imagination is even sharper. Then again, the internet is a dirty place. We can only hope this was drawn from imagination and not from experience.

I'm extremely frightened that someone is going to create a goatse version. Letting all that light in is going to reveal some disturbing stuff.

Arnold Inspired Twitter Game

Posted by: Chris Lesinski | October 28, 2009 at 3:00PM

"F- You" -Mr. Universe

Via Comedy Central's Indecision blog, I was alerted of this recent news story: Turns out California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hid a secret message in a veto letter to lawmakers (as can be clearly seen above).

I haven't seen an acrostic poem since 4th grade!

This got me thinking: Arnold has shown a sense of humor on Twitter, and now he fancies himself a cryptographer, so why not combine these two virtues into a Twitter game? Hide dickish messages (with caps) in your apparently friendly Tweets!

Here's my first example:

very Fond of this bUrrito I’m Consuming. kicKs butt. but Yesterday’s pastrami was even more OUtstanding. #FUarnold

You're usually confined to just 140 characters. By adding a secret message, you get additional characters! It's double-messaging!

Send these passive-aggressive encoded tweets to your friends and co-workers, just be sure to tag them with #FUarnold so we know what the heck you're talking about.

Or if you need unlimited characters, leave a comment below.