Joselyn Hughes

First and foremost: in no way do we condone playing drinking games or drinking in any form here on Tosh.0.

But the rest of the internet does, so here's a fun drinking game posted on The Huffington Post that lists when you should drink when listening to President Obama deliver the State of the Union Address. My favorite part?

Pelosi turning into a seal? Ummmm, maybe Huff Po should leave the jokes to us.

Unless we're too drunk, of course. (We're not).

[via The Huffington Post]

You probably think your hands are pretty great. They feed you. They open doors for you. They allow you to do lots of other important things such as write, rub, grab, and feel. But your hands are nothing compared to this girl?s hand.

It punches and kicks! It does one-fingered push-ups! It has a black belt! Dare I say her right hand is more athletic than your entire body? I dare.

Ever wonder what all those bleep noises on the show are covering up?

Here's every word that the censors made us bleep on tonight's show in order of their appearance:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, SHITTING, RETARD, RETARD, TARD, RE RE, RETARDO, FUCK, SHITTY, MOUTHY, SHIT, COCKtease

Yeah, even "Mouthy."

You guys may already know that I post a Tosh.0 Idol every Monday covering some of the web's finest singers. I'm always trying to find the best of the best out there.

But sometimes, there are singers so talented, they have no competitors. Like icyspicyleoncie.

Take a look and then buckle up, because she's got a whole channel with other icyspicyleoncie classics like "Man! Let's Have Fun," "Love in a Pub," and "Invisible Girl." Get into it.

And in advance, you're welcome.

"Shit bitch, you is fine!"

Yes.  Yes, I'm going to buy this for every single ounce of irony it's worth.

I love this bear, and I love the internet for providing it to me.  We have a love/hate relationship, the internet and I.  But at times like this, I couldn't imagine loving anything more or a life without it.  Aw, internet, you're making me blush.  Sometimes you're just the best thing ever.

Want to buy your own?  Click here.

[via The Daily What]

Here's some dorky guide to hacking something or other, but hold the internet phone. Before you put together a video that 28,000 people are going to see, you'd think you'd make sure all of your browser windows are closed. Unless, of course, you're trolling for a reaction.

What's "trolling," you ask? Well, on the internet, it's purposely doing something to elicit negative reactions from people. Like my brother did the first ten years of his life.

So sure, it's kind of funny… the guy's looking at bizarre porn. We get it. But don't give him the attention he wants! It will only make him stronger. Just ask this troll:

Keyboard Dog being played off by Keyboard Cat. Bravo, internet. I'm giving you a sitting ovation right now.

But internet, aren't you supposed to be faster than that? If you wanted to hop on the Keyboard Cat train, you're about a year too late. Sure, I'm posting this, so that'll give you about 53 more hits. But sooner than later, you're going to get lost in the shuffle of more serious internet business, like the latest FFFFU guy comic.

I appreciate your effort and understand if you've got a bad internet connection so it took you awhile to make and post this, but you're wasting your time. And mine, I might add. And just because you rarely let us down, internet, I'm going to give you a chance to redeem yourself. Let's not make this mistake again, okay little buddy? Go on, go outside and play with the rest of the web.

Let's see what you can come up with. Just stop playing the goddamn keyboard.

Having an Internet show carries a responsibility to show you, the viewer, a sample of some of the nasty things we see on a daily basis. Here's a list of some of those things we've shown on Tosh.0.

It's up to you if you can stomach watching them again. I double dog dare you!

7. The Cyst

We've all been or are teenagers (let's be honest, I consider everyone online to be about 14 years old,) so we've all had to deal with acne. But bacne like this? I'm not quite sure I'd know what to do, let alone have the foresight to record it and slap it online. So you guys check this out and see how much you can watch. For some reason, it just keeps on going…

After the jump, see the full list of the 7 Hardest Things to Watch that We've Shown on Tosh.0! more...

I don't care what news source you've been using to follow the developments between NBC's late night shows; I've found the news source to trump them all. Just watch the video above and learn what you need to know about Leno, Conan, and NBC in a few short minutes. Don't worry about details, they leave some of it up to you and your own imagination. And if the Internet didn't exist, no one would be able to see this treasure, so thanks for that, world wide web. You're so good to me.

I love Jersey Shore; I don't care who knows it. You couldn't write the things that come out of these guys' mouths. And having children reenact those words is almost as funny as the people who originally said them. So take a minute to watch our tiny JS friends repeat some of the amazing lines first uttered by the full-sized versions. Kids Guidos say the darndest things!

And if you want more JS actions, just check out their Twitter accounts. The laughs never end.

On Twitter: The Situation, Snookie, Pauly D, JWoWW, Vinnie

[video via Dlisted]