Mike Pomranz

Next up, the "touching people's balls" prank.  Then the "cuddling your cellmate" prank.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

Some kids just love attention.  Other kids get plenty of attention but they don't even know it because they have hair grown over their eyes.

[via The Clearly Dope]

Every guy thinks he wants a girl with a clean vag, but usually women like that are just into douches.

[thanks Mylo]

"Don't worry.  It's only called that because our prices are so high."

[via I Am Bored]

If I had to guess where in the USA, I'd lean towards Chinatown.

[via Reddit]

It really is fresh squeezed …out of a rag.

[via Reddit]

I prefer the place across the street.  They have wi-fi as big as your ass and free nachos.

[via youre-just-my-cup-of-tea]

"Don't bother me now, ring!  I'm having the best sex of my life!"

[via Izismile]

Just 'cause you only live once doesn't mean the decisions you've made in that one life can't make you an idiot.

[via I Am Bored]

"Maybe if you had gotten your lazy butt off the couch and taken the dog lamp for a walk, it wouldn't have pooped on the floor!"

[via Laughing Squid / buy it here (maybe?)]