Mike Pomranz

I'm guessing many of you will be spending some time hanging out with HIGHFIVE this weekend.

[via Reddit]

If there was an award for trolling this shit out of your own kid, this mom would win.

"What's wrong?  Your pain is not a big deal, Laney.  She's a loser and so are you for crying.  Hey!  I'm just joking.  I'm not your real mom.  Your real mom wouldn't fuck with you like this.  U mad bro?"

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Aw…  How cute.  It's just like how your parents met.

[via IAB]

At the very least, I bet the soundtrack would be awesome.  I could rock out to "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" all day.

[via VVV]

All new episodes of Tosh.0 return on Tuesday, May 29 at 10/9c on Comedy Central!

Just keep in mind that once you tune in, you'll have to stay until the end.

This video is called "Stuntman's parachute-free skydive."  That seems like a good idea.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote, winning by a mere half of a percentage point, was Chris Foster with his title, "Last time I play fetch with you assholes."  It's funny because the people he was fetching something for were assholes.  Congratulations, Chris!

[via Viral Viral Videos]

I feel bad for this person.

There was a time when they actually cared.  That's gotta suck.

[via sarah low]

12. When does your father like to cry?

      eVeRY NIghT WheN NO ONe IS WATChINg              

[via The Clearly Dope]

Overnight we performed a much needed update to our commenting system. Unfortunately, as anticipated, all existing comments were erased.

Terrible, right?  Having read every single comment ever left on the blog, I know each one was a mini-masterpiece.

But that's the bad news.

Here's the good news.  Think of every post as a fresh white canvas.  Now is the chance to go forth and defile our life's work once again.

This is your second chance to be "First."  You can be born again.

It's only fitting with the prophecy of Tosh529 nearly upon us.  Plus that's the best bullshit I could come up with to cover our asses.

All new episodes of Tosh.0 return on Tuesday, May 29 at 10/9c on Comedy Central!

Make sure your soul is well purified beforehand.