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Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Juggalos Of OKCupid is exactly what you think it is. 
• A woman won the powerball lottery! An hour too late. Those two sentences are quite literally lines from Alanis Morisette's Ironic.
• Here's a painful nutshot compilation because you people love that shit.
• Tan Mom has a music video. Everyone should remember what she's famous for.
• Girls arching their backs is bonercity.
• This is a quality mugshot roundup. Did somebody say new profile pics?!
• A monkey taking a bath! Seriously guys it's little and in the sink.
• Daft Punk's Get Lucky eye popping out dance. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. EVEN IF YOU CAN.
• A man wants to videotape ghosts in his house, catches his girlfriend banging his son. He'll be haunted by it forever.
• Teen invents a device that charges your iPhone in seconds. I spent my youth copying math homework.
• 10 crazy disguises people have tried to use. Close, but no cigar.
• And it's Mr. T's birthday so, wish him a good one.

[photo via Juggalos of OKCupid]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The world's most beautiful man. He's definitely got a certain… something.
• A bearded dragon doing an interpretive dance. SPOILER ALERT: It's exquisite.
• Barney voice-over will turn anyone's day around.
• Car wash ladies! Bikinis are fun.
• A caffeine tooth brush kinda makes sense. And now I can drink my french vanilla creamer straight.
• Rooster vs Reporter is a classic animal/live TV freakout.
• A really good Moonwalk. Anytime someone wants to see my Hit My Baby One More Time, let me know.
• Now YOU can design the new Maverick's uniform. I suggest bedazzling.
• Her weird talent is weird and bendy.
• A Smartphone flask. Drunk dialing has never been easier!
• And a bonus link: You liked my beard.

[photo via The Chive]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• This might be the sexiest video on YouTube. The simplicity of it!
• A deer plowed through a bus window and lived to tell his deer friends about it.
• An inmate is suing Taco Bell for stealing his idea for the Doritos Locos shell. I believe him because if I were in jail I'd be coming up with great Doritos inventions as well.
• This power lift is 100% beast mode. Russia.
• What happens to the losing team's championship shirts? You will not be surprised by this.
• Don't be afraid of love!! God dammit this is a good video.
• Rihanna LOVES fingering herself. What! That's what her shirt says!
• A man robbed a store. His defense is that the store's called Finders Keepers. Fair argument, case dismissed.
• A dog is crying while watching Mufasa die in The Lion King. I feel you, bro.
• And a shopping cart fail compilation. It's as if the only thing they're good for is holding your groceries.

[photo via Barstool]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• James Franco is hilarious. I'm laughing at him, not with him.
• I Fucked My Aunt feat. T-Pain is an actual song. Guess what it's about!
• This guy is my personal hero. Seriously nailed it.
• Kobe Bryant tweeted a photo of his achilles surgery and now my feet hurt.
• Bacon hot dogs are here in time for summer. Meat in meat. Yum.
• Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine just gave USC $70 million dollars. Hell yes, Fight On.
• Here are 26 excellent faceplants, because injury is hysterical unless it happens to you.
• This is a weird video. But I think you'll like it.
• So what ARE the benefits of an orgasm? Besides orgasming, obviously.
• DJs complaining really made my day. You spoiled little fucks.
• BONUS LINK: Adriana Lima's Instagram. Gotta keep my ducklings happy.

[photo via Videogum]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• An extreme unibrow. Or as I like to call it, "forehead mustache."
• Proof that Taylor Swift is a Satan worshipper from the past. As if you needed proof!
• My Bike is just an excellent rap song by children.
• Here are some bikini girls because your attention span is very short.
• Let's play Real Or Fake: Bird Catch. I say real because I WANT IT TO BE REAL.
• Cooking With Skrillex is internet gold. But where's his half-hairnet?
• 10 awesome Vine videos. Warning: nobody's naked. :(
• Easy breakfasts, because you're literally too stupid to feed yourself.
• Rich parents hire handicapped Disney tour guides so their kids can skip the lines. This story is perfect on so many levels.
• A pug watches the final scene in Homeward Bound. SHADOW!!!!
• Bonus Link: One Tiny Hand. Yes it's old, yes it's still fabulous.

[photo via Vidiload]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Richard Branson dressed up like a lady. Turns out he has great legs. 
• Animal Livestreams! Go ahead. Watch baby ducks all day.
• Goldblumings might be the best single-topic tumblr ever.
• Meet wheelie man. He does wheelies like, all the time.
• Hot girls wash cars with their boobs. Women's rights!
• Kanye West ran his face into a sign, promptly flips the fuck out.
• Everyone wants to live on Mars, which is weird because Mars looks boring as shit.
• Mind the gap is all about girl's butts in underwear. I'm really delivering the T&A today.
• A woman got arrested on a flight and wouldn't stop singing I Will Always Love You. I honestly don't see the problem here.
• And here's what a missed connection in Alaska looks like. Hint: birding.

[photo via Buzzfeed]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• White Will Smith. What the WHAT.
• Meanwhile, At McDonalds… People are disgusting human beings.
• The Dress Drake App is exactly what you'd expect. You dress Drake.
• A guy tries to break a car window with his head. Nope.
• How old is Jay-Z? Well he's from the 19th century, if that answers your question.
• Girls love mirrors. Guys love girls' bodies. Here are girl's bodies in mirrors.
• Ryan Gosling not eating his cereal, because it's Friday and I dare you not to smile at this.
• This parakeet's got a lot to say. Weird that he's never heard the phrase, "shut the fuck up".
• Is this the dumbest tweet ever? Thanks, Dwight Howard.
• 25 best pro wrestling glamour shots. Feathers and glitter and shit.
• And a bonus link! The excuse generator. I swear it wasn't my fault, the ghost of Hitler came on me.

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Woman who flipped off Noah may or may not have killed her husband. What a bad ass bitch. 
• Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend made Maxim's Hot 100. Sexiest pile of air ever.
• Here's Quentin Tortellini. Yeah THAT JUST HAPPENED.
• Women's POV is basically lots of titties. Who's excited for summer Instagrams?!
• 24 Facebook fails. Is "everyone who shares their political beliefs in their status" on there?
• Moms eat for free at Hooter's on Mother's Day. 'Cause why spend money on her, ya know?
• CNN anchors talk via satellite in the same parking lot. Busted.
• 105-year-old woman thinks she's alive because of bacon. Don't let me live to 100. It looks really scary.
• An owl loves a dog. Also that owl is fucking HUGE.
• And a mom went to WebMD instead of the hospital after her son got shot. Symptoms point to the flu.

[photo via WPBF]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Happy hump day! Who doesn't love butts.
• Autotune of the Charles Ramsay interview. The magic of the internet strikes again.
• How 10 porn stars lost their virginity. Shockingly not with the loves of their lives.
• Parkour fail compilation because FALLING! Classic.
• Tiger Woods got drunk at the Met Gala, thinks his eyes look totally sober.
• A 17-year-old invents program to keep Twitter from spoiling your favorite TV shows. How smart do you feel now?
• Don't do meth. Ever.
• Thief steals FOUR laptops by hiding them under cat food. Never. Trust. Cat people.
• 17 internet dating profiles that will make you stay single. So many sword references.
• And a big girl movin' it. Everything about this makes sense to me.

[photo via The Chive]