links

Apparently Frankie Muniz retired from acting to become a professional Twitter bully. Finally! A field in which he can excel.

Malcom in the Middle is not taking shit from anyone these days. If you make a crack at him, he'll fire one right back.

So go ahead! Tell him how you really felt about Agent Cody Banks 2. But don't you dare say anything if you still live with your mom. Because that's an insult that's hard to recover from.

[via @frankiemuniz]

That's right…  I phoned in a bunch of my posts ahead of time so that during my trip to Colombia I wouldn't have any distractions while I'm drinking beers and doing tons of… vacation.

Even this post was written three days ago!  Enjoy your weekend, suckers!!  Mine started on Wednesday!

[via @pomranz]

"Awkward Family Photos" is a fun blog that posts the worst and most embarrassing family pics around. Sometimes their stuff is squirm-inducing enough to be shared here.

And, of course, ABC is making that blog into a sitcom. There's two Twitter-based shows on CBS. And now this?

Mike already created @JohnnySitcom, a TV-ready character, ripe for development. But I'm suggesting they just take the Tosh.0 blog and make it into a show. Put it on Comedy Central or something.

Every other blog gets it's own show! Why can't we do one with, like, viral videos and parodies and stuff?

All I'm saying is it's a GREAT idea and I'd be TOTALLY down to host it. Or, whatever, they could get someone with a catchier last name.

[via Warming Glow]

Would you give it to charity? Would you pay off your credit card debt? Would you get your mom a Toyota Prius?

Or…would you buy the edible, life-size gingerbread playhouse for sale in this year's Neiman Marcus Christmas Book? Ding, ding, ding!

If you answered anything besides a house made of three-hundred and eighty-one pounds of gourmet gingerbread with a candy-encrusted roof, then you are a f*cking liar.

Because nobody ? not Mother Teresa herself (Angelina Jolie) ? could resist a giant, habitable cookie with 517 pounds of icing.

Baseball doesn't usually take the Internet by storm, but yesterday a lot of people took interest in one man's plan to earn money in 2010 by betting against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Back in April, Deadspin reported on a guy who was planning to bet $20 against the Pirates for all 162 games of this season.  Well, the season just wrapped up and Deadspin checked back in.

The result: A profit of over $300 dollars.

But don't take our word for it: You can see a spreadsheet documenting every single wager he made during the year.

Next year, I predict that this strategy will be so prominent that bookies will discover that instead of breaking the knees of crooked gamblers, it'll be easier to just go break the knees of every member of the Pirates organization.

It's been awhile since we featured a single-serving Tumblr blog.

But I like the general premise behind "httFp" — which, as they describe it, is a "collection of Hilarious Tweets addressed by unknown tweeters To Famous People."

I should start one of these called "HTTDT" — "Hilarious Tweets addressed by unknown tweeters To Daniel Tosh."  Except instead of "hilarious," the tweets are better described as "idiotic," and instead of "by unknown tweeters," it's "by all of you."

So it would be "ITTDT."  And there's no reason to start a Tumblr blog about it, because 100% of the tweets directed @DanielTosh are idiotic, so you can just check the Twitter search.

Don't believe me?  Let's just pick the first one that comes up…

brzathebeef: @danieltosh wanna hit it from the back?

Point proved.

[via TDW]

It is a widely accepted belief that Michael Bay is the coolest person on the planet. He has the coolest ideas and the coolest taste. His movies? The coolest.

Now you can experience a little piece of his coolness with the Michael Bayifier. It's a website that takes regular, uncool pictures and Michael Bayifies them.

I uploaded an innocent shot of the cupcakes at our Tosh.0 wrap party. Then I added some explosions, guns, a sports car, a fighter jet, a bomb, and, of course, one Shia LeBeouf. All of a sudden my picture is worth $700 million dollars and I've got a smirk I just cannot wipe off my long, smarmy face!

Join in on the fun and Michael Bayify your lame photos today!

[via Videogum, cupcakes via Lauren]

Everybody wins! Well, not the subjects on the fuck list. Or the girl who wrote the fuck list "thesis" in Powerpoint format, or her parents. Or the school she attends that let it leak. But the rest of us…we're winners!

Because we get to read stuff like the "Pros" of sleeping with Subject 1, shown above: He is enormous. Like… I was actually rendered speechless. After a freshman year of frat star-sizing, I wasn't even really sure what to do with the situation at hand (erm, mouth?).

Fucking amazing (erm, terrible?). Nah, amazing was right. Read her whole thesis here on Jezebel.

Jon Stewart isn't the only one trying to bring sanity back.

On Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert introduced us to a previously unheard of group, which is quickly becoming an Internet phenomenon…  the Sane Clown Posse, and the hit title track off their new album.

While we're on the topic, be sure to get more info about The Daily Show's Rally to Restore Sanity being held in Washington DC on October 30th.

I'm not sure if the Sane Clown Posse is scheduled to perform, but we can pray.

[via The Colbert Report]

[UPDATE: The problem has been fixed!  Sorry if you were unable to enter before.  Please try again!]

Hey, everyone!  Just a friendly reminder that the Tosh Tour Twenty Ten Sweepstakes ends tonight at midnight, so if you haven't entered, now is the time!

You can win a trip to New York, 500 big ones and tickets to see Daniel Tosh perform stand-up live on October 30!

Now, I know Daniel has made some promises on the show — some false promises — but this is totally legit!  There are "official rules" and everything!

SO GO ENTER NOW! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!

Well, assuming you win.  If you don't win, you won't be glad.  You'll probably forget you even entered.