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TOSH.0 BLOG Wednesday, May 22

Get Your Tickets For The Giraldo Family Benefit

Posted by: Carly Hallam | June 28, 2011 at 6:00PM

Tomorrow night, Daniel is joining Jeff Ross, Dave Attell, and more at The Wiltern in Los Angeles for a comedy show benefitting Greg Giraldo's family.

Tickets are on sale now! For more information, go to LiveNation.com.

"Even before the kids are born, you?ve got to make these decisions. If it?s a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it?s a girl, do we keep her?" -Greg Giraldo

Hunt This Dude 4 Sport

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | June 22, 2011 at 1:00PM

Finally, someone has found a use for Tumblr…

Hunt Me 4 Sport is exactly as it sounds — a young gentleman (seen above) offering himself up to be hunted for sport.  As he states:

"I seek hearty gents who fancy themselves sportsmen and bored of the usual game. I am a new breed of prey with thick pelt and smooth hide. I?m faster than a wild turkey, smart as any GODDAMN wild boar and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the monetary health of my family."

For a mere $10,000 per day, you can go hunt this dude.

Is this some sort of joke?  Well, he clearly states, "Serious inquiries only please. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY."  And it's on the Internet…

So I'm not sure if you could really get away with hunting this guy for sport.  But I bet you could get away with slapping him across the face.  Because he certainly deserves that.

[via journo-fascist profiteer]

Ewok Actor Fondled Himself In Front Of Girl

Posted by: Carly Hallam | June 9, 2011 at 11:00AM

If there's one thing I know about goblins and Ewoks, it's that their grip on reality is slim. They just don't know when it's inappropriate to do a magic trick under a bowler's hat.

[via The Daily Mail]

Everyone Can Be a Critic of Shakespeare

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | June 8, 2011 at 4:00PM

The Twitter account @IAM_SHAKESPEARE is tweeting the complete works of William Shakespeare, "line by all 112,000+ lines," every 10 minutes until he's done.

At over 93,000 tweets, he's currently working his way through The Tempest.

And thanks to the "@ reply," nearly 400 years after his death, a whole new generation can let Willy Shakes know what they think of his work.

Whether it's a complaint like the one above…

Or a "That's what she said" joke…

"'That's what she said'?  I hath not considereth such punnery before!  Good show, Man of Tweeting Bird!" – Shakespeare

See what people are saying about Shakespeare by checking out Twitter Search here.

[via @IAM_SHAKESPEARE]

More Proof of How Not Racist People Are

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | June 2, 2011 at 12:00PM

The premise of the single-serving Tumblr site I'm Not Racist, But… is simple: "I search public Facebook posts for 'not racist but' and post examples of how not racist people are."

What you get is an archive of Facebook statuses like this:

Sad indeed.  For more reasons than you realize.

Still, I'm not racist, but only a middle-class white dude would have enough free time to run this site.

[via TDW]

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | May 5, 2011 at 10:00AM

Cinco de Mayo seems like as good a time as any to revisit my favorite video on the Internet… Samson: the Margarita Drinking Wiener Dog!

Unfortunately, embedding this video has been disabled, so if you want to see a wiener dog drinking a margarita, you're going to have to CLICK HERE.  Is it racist to make you work harder than usual on a Mexican holiday?  Maybe.

A Site That Helps Americans Understand the Royal Wedding

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | April 28, 2011 at 1:00PM


As The Royal Wedding approaches and the hoopla escalates, many Americans find themselves wondering, Why should I care?

Gossip sites and even the mainstream news media keep shoving it down our throats, but it just doesn't resonate with us red-blooded American citizens who have a long history of disdain for royalty.

Well, luckily, a new website has been created specifically to clarify this issue: WhyAmericansShouldCareAboutTheRoyalWedding.com.

The site does an amazing job of really summarizing why Americans should care.  Check it out.

Daniel Tosh In Las Vegas: Presale Info

Posted by: Carly Hallam | April 26, 2011 at 6:00PM

Daniel is performing for ONE NIGHT ONLY in Las Vegas on May 29th at the Mandalay Bay Events Center!

Pre-sale tickets are available tomorrow, April 27th, at noon PST. Use the password FINGER to get yours.

Regular tickets go on sale April 29th at noon PST.

Don't miss this single engagement event!

Buy tickets HERE. Get more info at DanielTosh.com.

Wanted: Midget To Hide Under Girl's Bed

Posted by: Carly Hallam | April 20, 2011 at 5:00PM

Somebody's April Fool's Day was AWESOME.

[via reddit]

How's Your March Madness Bracket?

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | March 29, 2011 at 1:00PM

Out of over 5.9 million brackets entered in EPSN.com's Tournament Challenge only two people picked the Final Four correctly, and only one of them, Joe Pearlman, is in serious contention to win the big final prize.  (See his bracket above and hear an interview with him here.)

I didn't watch the interview with Joe.  But I assume it went something like this:

ESPN: So how did you come to pick these four teams?
JOE: Well, I picked Kentucky because they are a perennial powerhouse, Connecticut because of their great run in the Big East tournament, and Butler because they made the Final Four last year.
ESPN: And what about VCU?
JOE: Oh, that was easy.  I just sold my soul to Satan.

Joe has VCU winning the whole thing.  Good luck, Joe.  At this point, it doesn't seem any more silly than every other pick you made.

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