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TOSH.0 BLOG Saturday, May 25

If You're Going To Steal Gas From A Police Car, Don't Post The Evidence On Facebook

Posted by: Carly Hallam | April 19, 2012 at 10:00AM

Twenty-year-old Michael Baker of Kentucky was charged last month with stealing gasoline from a police cruiser after he posted a photo of the theft on his Facebook page.

No word yet on whether the fashion police made an arrest for the sideways hat.

[via The Daily What]

Tags: 

crime

criminal

dumb

facebook

gas

police car

steal

Village of 'F***ing' Mulling Name Change

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | April 18, 2012 at 12:00PM

According the the Telegraph, the Austrian village of Fucking is planning "to vote on a name change in an attempt to escape the constant ridicule and attention the name attracts."

Apparently, people love stealing their signs, photographing themselves nude and partaking in other mayhem while visiting the village of a mere 104 residents.

Possible new names include, "Holy-Shit-Is-This-Place-Boring-As-Hell-Now, Austria"

[via Gawker]

Tags: 

austria

fucking

name change

names

village

This Woman Is Too Good Looking

Posted by: Carly Hallam | April 3, 2012 at 6:00PM

According to writer Samantha Brick, "there are downsides to being pretty ? the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks."

Friends have frozen Samantha out of their lives due to jealousy and insecure female bosses have barred her from promotions at work.

Samantha discusses all the trials and tribulations of being so fucking gorgeous in a piece she wrote for the Daily Mail.

In it she explains that dinner parties and social gatherings are very tough. "If I can?t wriggle out of them, then often dress down in jeans and a demure, albeit pretty, top."

To which commenter Helen of Troy remarked, "I know, right?"

[via the Daily Mail]

The Cinnamon Challenge Is Really Bad For You

Posted by: Carly Hallam | March 29, 2012 at 10:00AM

This just in! According to Alvin C. Bronstein, MD, medical director for the Rocky Mountain Poison and Drug Center:

"…teens who engage in [the cinnamon challenge] often choke and vomit, injuring their mouths, throats and lungs. Teens who unintentionally breathe the cinnamon into their lungs also risk getting pneumonia as a result."

Pneumonia! And "videos on the Internet" are to blame. (That's us, guys.) The Poison Center wants parents to talk to their teens, "explaining that what may seem like a silly game can have serious health consequences".

Read the full article here. And be careful out there.

ALSO, surprise trust falls may result in smallpox.

Another Good Reason to Never Try to Get a Job

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | March 12, 2012 at 1:00PM

In his defense, who could turn down the opportunity to work in a sex shop?  You get to serve society's finest group of people: creeps.

[via Failblog / story via Daily Mail]

Tags: 

arrested

dumb

job

robbery

sex shop

HOLY SH*T YOU GUYS IT'S ICED TEA BEER

Posted by: Carly Hallam | March 9, 2012 at 3:00PM

Looks like we're all going to have to take a trip to Canada because Coors is unveiling a new iced-tea flavored beer there next month.

"Coors Light is the world's most refreshing beer," Coors CEO Peter Swinburn said. "Iced tea is the world's most refreshing non-alcoholic drink."

Both somewhat accurate statements. It only makes sense to combine them into one extremely refreshing beverage!

You'll never be thirsty again! Either because you're so damn refreshed or because your mouth no longer trusts what you're putting in it.

[via IHC]

Marilyn Hagerty Likes Olive Garden and She Doesn't Have Time for Your Crap

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | March 9, 2012 at 10:00AM

Marilyn Hagerty had a good week.

Not only did she write the article above about how fucking superior Grand Forks, North Dakota's new Olive Garden was to all the other shit restaurants in her town, but she also gave the trolls a serious smackdown in a follow-up article.

After Hagerty's article went viral, Grand Forks Herald did a follow up report.  In it, they discussed her new-found popularity:

"Hagerty said her daughter, Gail Hagerty of Bismarck, urged her to read the Facebook comments about her review.

?'I told her I?m working on my Sunday column and I?m going to play bridge this afternoon, so I don?t have time to read all this crap,' Marilyn said."

Boom.  I picture Marilyn saying that while sucking down a bottle of Chianti at Olive Garden's attractive bar area.

So don't even leave any comments about her article in this post.  She ain't gonna read that shit.

[via The Clearly Dope]

Here's That Chicken McNugget That Supposedly Looks Like George Washington

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | February 23, 2012 at 5:00PM

Rebekah Speights, the woman who discovered the McNugget, said, "I looked down at the McNugget and just started laughing.  I saw this portrait of George Washington staring back at me."

See, you're not the only one who goes to McDonald's high as fuck.

[via BuzzFeed / Sioux City Journal]

Shippensburg University Has a Morning-After Pill Vending Machine

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | February 7, 2012 at 1:00PM

As reported by WTAE Pittsburgh:

"At Shippensburg University, getting access to Plan B, the emergency contraception pill is as easy as getting a soda. Students can now buy the pill at a vending machine on campus."

It's nice to give students such easy access.  Because let's be honest, if you're enrolled at Shippensburg University, this isn't the first time in life you've gone with plan B.

[via The Daily What]

Is 'Breading' Cats Really a Thing?

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | January 31, 2012 at 5:00PM

Gawker has proclaimed that 'breading' cats is a "Hot New Internet Meme."

Ask anyone from China: breaded dog tastes better.

[via Gawker]

Tags: 

bread

breading

cats

dumb

Memes

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