Pics

If you have to pay for a Glory Hole, I ask you: where is the glory?

[via Izismile]

Albert Einstein once said, "Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better."

It doesn't apply here, but he did say it.

[via Imgur]

A hurricane is no excuse for rudeness, sir.

[via Izismile]

I feel like he would hit it off really well with her.

By "hit it off" I mean they'd have sex with the door open while their kids played with fire ten feet away.

[via I am Bored]

He shaves his bush so it spells, "PUBES".

[via Izismile]

This is without a doubt the jolliest case of schizophrenia I've ever seen.

[via Imgur]

No no, you've got it backwards. To get famous you need to sing into a record exec's penis.

[via Izismile]

Don't worry, balloon maker. You're still not as stupid as anyone buying party favors for an infant.

[via Reddit]

On the next Maury: "I went out to buy a throw rug and came back with a husband!"

Dear Daniel,

Sam has a condition where she is unable to do anything on the computer except add things to her Zappos shopping cart. Thank you for understanding, and please do not ask her to do anything else.

Sinseerly,

Mrs. Jarvis

[via The Daily What]