products

Dancing in your apartment alone never seemed so a-little-less-sad!

[via The Chive]

"Maybe if you had gotten your lazy butt off the couch and taken the dog lamp for a walk, it wouldn't have pooped on the floor!"

[via Laughing Squid / buy it here (maybe?)]

The most important drink of the day.

[via IHC]

Currently available: Wonderful scents like Riding Mower, First Down and Man Town.

No word yet on if or when they plan on releasing "Peaches 'n' Skeet," "Warm Mother's Queef" or "Man Ass."

Though if "Man Town" doesn't smell somewhat similar to "Man Ass," what could it smell like?

[via drinkyourjuice / buy here / context]

These pants covered in all kinds of penises are available for both men and women here.

It's one thing to be dressed like a dick. But it's a whole other thing to be dressed in dicks. That's fashion at its highest.

[via IHC]

Because your Spanx are a little too slimming in that area.

[Buy them here via Dangerous Minds]

Like 116-year-old grandpa high.

[via afternoonsnoozebutton]

Hey, Internet, just because you have an "idea," does not mean you have a "good idea."  For instance, sucking on a bottle of hot sauce.

[via I Heart Chaos / buy them here]

"Hi, Mr. President?  Can we invade Canada?  I'm getting way too much sunlight in my left eye."

(FYI, you can buy them on Amazon by wasting a mere $208.)

[via ianbrooks]

Pizza Hut UK is now offering pizza stuffed with a hot dog.

Yo, United Kingdom! Why don't you get off our ass? Combining two junk foods into one disgusting yet completely satisfying food is kind of our thing.

I'm sure once the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust makes its way to the states it'll be a Chili Dog Stuffed Crust. WITH A MAYONNAISE DRIZZLE. (We'll call it aioli.)

Then who will be jealous of who?!?

[via Gizmodo]