Respectful Commenter of the Week

The news has recently been dominated by discussions of Senator Ted Kennedy's passing.  By this point pretty much every newscaster, political pundit, journalist, blogger, Senator, statesman, analyst and asshole has chimed in with their thoughts.

But what do the commenters think?  (Of course the world wants to know!!)

Well, lucky me, it didn't take long to find this delightful comment on a Politico article:

"Kennedy was an inspiration to drunk entitled slobs everywhere."

Zing!  Take that, recently deceased political figure!  The best part is that the dead can't defend themselves… especially against anonymous comments left on a blog!  It's a double whammy of privacy protection — like shrouding your invisibility cloak with an invisibility cloak!

So congratulations, whoever you are!  You are the Respectful Commenter of the Week!

[Looking for There Are No Stupid Questions?  Starting this week they move to Fridays!]

We love our readers and viewers and pretty much everyone who ever has seen or heard about our show here on Comedy Central.  But you guys can be jerks.  And you know it.

For example: We've been requesting viewers to "Submit Your Fisheye Videos" for us to use when Tosh.0 returns on October 8th.  And definitely keep sending us stuff!

But some of your comments can be inappropriate.  Like this one left on the Fisheye Video post from a Tosh.0 blog reader named tracey:

"Everything is cooler through a fish eye lens except your friend Matt"

What's that about, tracey?!  Why you gotta attack The Full Charge?

Comedian Matt Fulchiron has made a number of memorable appearance on Tosh.0, including the much heralded "Mini Vodka" video.

Have you ever been on a national TV show, tracey??  Well, if you haven't here's your big breakthrough moment.. . For your rude comment, we say to you: Congratulations, tracey!  You're our Respectful Commenter of the Week.

Barney Frank's confrontation with a woman comparing Obama to Hitler was a big story this week with plenty of news coverage and a video that quickly crossed the million view threshold.

What a silly woman!  Why confront Frank in person??  You can get away with so much more by posting your criticisms on the Internet.  Like the following comment, left by YouTuber, suzuki21rydr.

barney frank eats big piles? of feeces

See that!  There is no way Frank can rebut that.  Because it's on the Internet.  Anything goes!  You can even spell "feces" anyway you f'in' like!

Try to ask suzuki21ryder what planet he spends most of his time on?!

I'll tell you where: Planet The Internet!  Take that, Barney Frank!  Zing!!

And congratulations to suzuki21rydr!  Ride that Suzuki with pride: You are our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

This week's respectful commenter decided to do things the old-fashioned way: A hand-written cardboard sign held up on the side of the road.

The sign, which can barely be made out to the right, reads: "Death to Obama DEATH to Obama + Michelle + 2 Stupid Kids."

Unfortunately for this guy, he could have learned a valuable lesson from his online commenting counterparts.

One of the reasons people nowadays prefer to comment online instead of IRL is because your comments are placed anonymously.  There is nothing anonymous about standing on the side of a road with a cardboard sign.

Which explains why this man was quickly detained and questioned by the Secret Service and his story found its way to every major media outlet in the country.  (No charges were pressed.  Obama obviously realizes you can't have your free speech and eat it too.)

But for your reckless love of "kickin' it old school," congratulations to "The Death to Obama Guy."  You are our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

During the day today, an article entitled "July Deadliest Month for Soldiers in Afghanistan" sparked a lively debate amongst commenters on the notoriously highbrow comments section of AOcomL..

newsSwat helped AOL live up to its reputation of rude and inappropriate comments with his request that…

Somebody please find slickbudget7 and smash all of his fingers with a hammer

Thanks for keeping the discourse high, newsSwat.  Congratulations, you're our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

Yesterday, Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle pitched a perfect game against the Tampa Bay Rays, just the 17th perfect game of all-time pitched during an MLB regular season.  It was a truly historic event that has so far garnered over 1,700 comments on ESPN's game conversation page.

So let's let ESPN commenter mr.stirfry put this monumental moment in perspective for us:

SNORE

Way to be on top of the action, stirfry!  Congratulations, you're our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

On Thursday, a man lost his life setting up the stage for a Madonna concert, as reported by Breitbart with the headline, "Stage for French Madonna show collapses; 1 dead."

Who could make light of such a horrible tragedy?  Commenter cjbassett, of course.  He quipped:

The phrases "unnecessary tragedy" and "Madonna concert" are synonymous

Wow.  Perfect time for a joke, cj.  I'm sure the dead man's family is happy that you've taken the opportunity of his death to make a pun.

Congratulations, cjbasset!  You've our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

Digging through comments all over the web to find a weekly Respectful Commenter is such a pain in the ass. You know how many comments are left on websites around the world each week?

15.

And a third of those are in Arabic. I don't have time to read 10 comments a week.

So you can imagine how pleased I was when I logged onto the Tosh.0 page this morning and there… right in front of me… was one hell of a respectful comment on our post Head-First Jump Into a Pool from user crisitna:

i believe you deserve to get your teeth broken because your a f—in s— for brains.

As some of you may have realized, it sometimes takes about 5 to 10 minutes for comments to clear our cache and go live.  Unfortunately, crisitna must have quickly become distraught at not seeing her comments, so 4 minutes later, she gave it another shot with this truncated beauty:

you s— for brains, you deserve to have missing teeth.

Maybe she figured that the word "f—ing" would send her comment to spam.  "S—" is totally cool though.

Thanks so much for commenting, crisitna!  You've earned yourself the honor of being our Respectful Commenter of the Week!

With the 4th of July rapidly approaching, it's time for us to reflect on everything that makes America great.  That's apparently what adm454 had in mind when he reacted to an article from The Washington Times about Obama's willingness to shoot down North Korean missiles:

You've got to remember, Obama doesn't give a rat's a** about anything but his own power and getting buzzed every night on White House liquor. He wants any attack on our country as an excuse to impose marshall law to take away all of our guns and all of our rights.

Free speech and hating our politicians: Does it get any more American than that?!

Congrats, adm454!  You're our Independence Day Respectful Commenter of the Week!

TMZ.com appeared to be the first to break the news of Jacko's death yesterday with a post entitled "Michael Jackson Dies" timestamped at 5:20pm.

As I write this, the post is set to break the 3,000 comment mark.  Comments started rolling in at 5:42 and it didn't take long for the trolls to come out and play.

What a tragic day with the death of two major icons: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett!  Who can put this in perspective for all of us?!?  Maybe TMZ commenter johnny h.  Reacting to MJ's death, he proclaimed:

he loved to take it in the brown eye, just like farrah did.

Wow, johnny.  Really?  This was the 24th comment out of nearly 3,000!  It went live 5 minutes after the first comment, meaning johnny h must have rushed to a computer, dying to inform us of his profound thought.

For your determined spirit to be the first troll hitting the breaking Michael Jackson death story on TMZ, we say, "Congratulations, johnny h!"  You're our Respectful Commenter of the Week!