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"Is Orange Juice meeting us down there?"

"Yep. And Yogurt Parfait."

[via Izismile]

Wow, the Stevenson's daughter is kind of a bitch.

Great handwriting though.

[via Acid Cow]

"I ain't crazy 'bout it myself, but my cousin thinks it's sexy."

[via Acid Cow]

You are very dressed up for nap time, FuckMeBarbie69.

"Yep, I work with some real turds."

[via Acid Cow]

Throw in some driving lessons and you've got yourself a deal.

[via Uber Humor]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Juggalos Of OKCupid is exactly what you think it is. 
• A woman won the powerball lottery! An hour too late. Those two sentences are quite literally lines from Alanis Morisette's Ironic.
• Here's a painful nutshot compilation because you people love that shit.
• Tan Mom has a music video. Everyone should remember what she's famous for.
• Girls arching their backs is bonercity.
• This is a quality mugshot roundup. Did somebody say new profile pics?!
• A monkey taking a bath! Seriously guys it's little and in the sink.
• Daft Punk's Get Lucky eye popping out dance. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. EVEN IF YOU CAN.
• A man wants to videotape ghosts in his house, catches his girlfriend banging his son. He'll be haunted by it forever.
• Teen invents a device that charges your iPhone in seconds. I spent my youth copying math homework.
• 10 crazy disguises people have tried to use. Close, but no cigar.
• And it's Mr. T's birthday so, wish him a good one.

[photo via Juggalos of OKCupid]

Let's play just the forehead.

[via Izismile]

Gala in the front, corporate takeover in the back.

[via Izismile]

Yes Jesus is Asian, and yes he always uses crosswalks.

[via Kotaku]