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If you'd prefer to ride in an $800,000 vehicle, might I recommend "Garbage Man."

[via Acid Cow]

AND it doesn't swear in rap songs.

[via Uber Humor]

I'm there. Now what, soft drink company??

[via reddit]

Don Draper has nothing on the ad genius at St. Catherine Bakery.

[via izismile]

If you mix up all the letters in Scott Caan's name they actually spell Subway Club.

Your mind is blown!

[via The Daily What]

Acid is weird, you guys. Definitely stick to meth.

[via Dangerous Minds]

"This place is a scam. They don't even mention that you'll be less funny!" -Former Member Seth Rogen

[via The HD]

So Jack and Jill came back down the hill

And went to the movies instead

And there they saw a preview that made them wish they were dead

Adam Sandler made a film and the title was their name

It was even worse than the erection thing. You should have felt their shame

They needed something stronger, a quicker route to death

And that is the story of how Jack and Jill started taking meth

[via reddit]

Are they selling meat pie downstairs? Because you probably don't want to eat it.

[via The DW]

Solar power: To get incest for your future, utilize the power of the son.

[via I Heart Chaos]