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And quit showing off- my blow jobs are free too.

[via The Chive]

Also, backfat.

[thanks Conor]

Who wants to go BOWLING!?!

[via The Chive]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0

So our guerilla marketing is working!

(You probably don't want to eat those…)

I actually met the Dildo King in person one time.  He was kind of a dick.  But not really.

[via Reddit]

The reason this picture is funny has nothing to do with dark clouds or cheeseburgers, it's the sign itself.

If you're not hip on the internet lingo, this should explain it for ya.

NOW do you get it? We're an internet show. You people need to be on top of these things.

via The Daily What

Big news on the Internet yesterday was that Mad Men actress/busty redhead Christina Hendricks was going to start shilling for coat company London Fog.

I mean, the Internet called it news, but it's basically an excuse for blogs to post images and videos of Christina Hendricks.  (And who am I to not use that excuse for all of you.  After all, young men is our target demo.)

It seems like a smart move for London Fog.  Do people even wear London Fog anymore?  I'm not a fashion expert, but it's probably not a good sign that I don't recall wearing a London Fog coat since I was 9.

But hell, for Christina Hendricks I'd go back to wearing Garfield t-shirts and sweatpants my mom bought me from Bradlees.

Do you think it's too late for Bradlees to sign on Hendricks as their spokeswoman?

[via The High Definite]

Hey!  The Old Spice guy is back!  With a new "viral ad" you can watch online.

I'm not going to embed the video here.  On this site, you have to pay for advertising.

I don't see how people get so excited about a commercial.  One recent commenter on the video stated: "i propose we build an 'Old Spice' church? and we make this guy our god."  I have a better proposal: Let's not do that.  Instead let's build a church where we can pray that people like you aren't legally allowed to vote.

Look at the actor pictured above.  Now look away.  Now keep looking away lest you become brainwashed by this garbage.

I'll keep washing my body with vinegar and a soiled washcloth, thank you very much.

[via The Daily What]

I made the mistake of following a link on Digg through to an article on the site Guyism.com.

All my judgments about Guyism.com aside, I was surprised to see that the lead banner ad on the site was from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, with an urging to "Join the Conversation."

Now, I'm not an idiot.  When I see an opportunity for a banner ad to immediately engage me in an online chat with a Mormon missionary, I take it!

Unfortunately, Lindzey — who based on that "Z" must be some sort of "gangsta Mormon" — was unable to explain to me why the LDS think the readers of Guyism.com are within their target demographic for conversion to Mormonism.  Though the kind of guy who visits that site on a regular basis probably does suffer from some level of confusion.

Still, something makes me think that marketing campaign isn't doing particularly well for them…

[Sidenote: I'm now a Mormon.]

Atom.com proposed what it might look like "If Internet Memes Had Big Budget Marketing Campaigns."

I wish!  Every day I have to scour the Internet trying to figure out what has captured the public's attention for this brief moment in time.  It's surprisingly painstaking work.

But for other media, it's the complete opposite.  I haven't seen a movie since Hot Rod!  But I still know that Shutter Island is popular right now because I can't avoid the damn advertising campaign.

The only TV show I watch besides Tosh.0 is any Simpsons rerun from between seasons two and nine.  That doesn't mean I don't realize that middle America can't get enough of The Big Bang Theory.  The adverts are all over the place!

You see, most forms of entertainment play by our rules.  But memes think they are special.  They think going "viral" is the way to make a name for yourself.

F' that!

Let's start a congressional committee to start pumping some money into doing government-mandated marketing for the most recent memes!  That'll keep me from having to check The Daily What ten times a day!

[p.s.  I still love you Daily What!]