advice

Question: Is a chocolate sprinkled donut okay to use?

Follow-up question: What if I skipped the penis and just had a donut?

[via Transformer Ivan]

Totally. Some bitches just throw themselves over their shoulder like a sac of potatoes and NO MAN WANTS THAT.

[via Failblog]

They wanted to add, "Always use a condom and start putting aside money for your retirement" but they ran out of room.

[via Lamebook]

Also, the best way to treat a UTI is more dick.

[via The Chive]

So with a flick of my magic blogging wand…

Now that this kid is 14, I'm hoping he puts out "How To Touch A Boob Over A Bra."

And don't forget to check out the other people who deserve fame!

[via YouTube]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

Holy shit.  You just gave me something to embroider on a pillow.

But I probably won't because I wouldn't want anyone to see me embroidering on Tosh.0.

Maybe if you turned that water into wine everybody would have a better time.

[via izismile]

6. Later in bed, take a bite out of his dick then spit it into a napkin and say, "I told you so."

[via The Clearly Dope]

When flirting with the opposite sex, always remember the three P's. Paisley, pencils, and precious metals.

[via FFF]

Fine.

[via Win!]