agreements

Slashdot points out that Verizon has changed the Acceptable Use Policy for their Internet service and has included some pretty broad "Violations."

One such example:

"It is a violation … to: (e) post off-topic information on message boards, chat rooms or social networking sites;"

What exactly constitutes "off-topic information"?  That's up for Verizon to decide, but here are a few helpful guidelines:

• Remember, Twitter is all about "What's happening?"  Make sure to stay in the present.  Talking about the past is off-topic!
• If you are hollerin' at bitches on Myspace, you best keep hollerin' at bitches lest you go off topic.
• If you are on 4chan's /b/ – Random message board, you better make damn sure everything you post is completely random!  If anything appears at all relevant, you could find that you have gone off the topic of being random.

And so on with that comedic premise.

That should get you started at least.  What you got?