angry

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

"Sweetheart I don't know what to say besides… Pussy's always worth it."

[via Break]

OK: "You have a beautiful daughter."

[via Izismile]

"Where's Rango?"

"He'll show up. Just watch."

"…This isn't picking up where Rango left off."

"Don't worry about it."

"When's Rango coming in? This isn't even animated."

[via It Makes No Sense]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

I feel the same way about grammar.

If he's not careful, somebody's gonna put a cap in his ass. Literally.

[via LiveLeak]

I know, Super Angry Parrot. I thought it was Friday too.

[via BuzzFeed]

Sometimes trucks just need to be put in their place. They hog the road and they cut you off and then they're all like, 'Frequent stops. Honk if you love Jesus. If you can't see my mirrors, I can't see you. Wide turns. I brake for crack whores.' Okay, stupid truck. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND DELIVER A BUNCH OF NONDELIVERY PIZZAS NOW?

[via Holy Taco]

Flula is back! And guess what? He's upset about another English idiom.

Why do I keep posting his videos? I have no idea! Maybe I like his accent. Or maybe I just feel bad for him because he clearly lives in a car.

[via VVV]

Have you guys read the McDonald's Employee/Customer Handbook? Because it clearly says that if you try to grab an ice cream from the top, they are legally permitted to mush it in your face.

Also, if you order a side of Polynesian sauce, any McDonald's employee may throw hot grease on you while yelling, "It's called Sweet and Sour! Sweet and Sour!!".

[via College Humor]