announcement

Unless you're a pencil or a pen, don't look at him.

Remember when he came on the show and did Me And Daniel Tosh? That was a good day.

[via Videogum]

I'm happier than a boy standing shirtless next to Daniel.

ALL NEW EPISODES of Tosh.0 start TONIGHT at ten!

Shit's about to get awkward.

ALL NEW EPISODES of Tosh.0 start this Tuesday at ten!

In the new season, Daniel talks to a lot of weirdos. I know- big changes.

ALL NEW EPISODES of Tosh.0 start this Tuesday at ten!

I wonder what Mr. Black and Miss Panther Party have to say about this engagement.

[via IMNS]

Facebook made some changes to profile pages and people are upset.

Zuckerberg and Co. claim the new look makes it "easier to tell your story and learn about your friends". But users are complaining that the upgraded format is "confusing", "stupid", and "messy". And, as many have learned, once you've made the change there's no going back.

Typical Facebook.

But I think the real news here is that Blaise is now on its way to becoming the most popular baby name of 2011.

Once again, Zuckerberg has screwed us all.

Months! For months and months we've wondered. We've spent sleepless nights waiting and speculating. We've hardly been able to think about anything else.

WHAT WILL CONAN O'BRIEN NAME HIS NEW TELEVISION SHOW???

My first vote would have been American Idol. But seeing how that is taken by some less deserving fools, I'll settle for something else.

Conan.0 maybe? That's got a nice ring to it.

[via Movie Web]

…replaced by the message above.

Just think of all the penises that are going unseen right now!

Oh, the humanity!!!

For the time being, I'll have to resort to my old method of meeting strangers…  dark alleys.

[via BuzzFeed]

Yesterday, Apple officially announced the new iPhone 4!

Mashable released some of the product's specs yesterday, featuring amazing changes like:

• 24% thinner than current iPhone
• 4 times the previous iPhone?s pixel density
• Larger battery
• HD video recording, and iMovie for editing video on the iPhone
• Front- and rear-facing cameras for FaceTime, the new video chat app
• iOS will allow for multitasking

But that's not it!  Steve Jobs personally let us in on some more amazing features of the new iPhone 4!

• Holding the handset to your ear helps cure any AIDS concentrated in your head!
• Every hour you spend using the touchscreen interface replicates the esteem-boost of one missed physical encounter with a member of the opposite sex!
• Streaming video of Kevin James' movies on the iPhone 4 will actually make them funny!
• 411 directs you to Steve Jobs' home phone where he will gladly divulge fashion advice and vegetarian cooking tips!  (New Balance sneakers and don't use beef!)
• Fathers who use the iPhone 4 to contact their homosexual sons will feel 15% less shame over previous generation iPhone using fathers!
• As inspired by Chatroulette, a special button on the back of the iPhone 4 brings you one click away from being connected with video footage of a man's penis!
• Pictures taken from the iPhone 4 are digitally enhanced to include you motor-boating Christina Hendricks and then uploaded to a billboard in Times Square!  (Great for both guys and girls!)

So get your iPhone today!!!!!

Or June 15th??  When are they released?  I didn't actually read the article.

TechCrunch reported yesterday that a forthcoming announcement by Google about Google TV is imminent!

What is Google TV, you might ask?  Well, it's just like regular TV, except that the televisions are in Google's corporate headquarters and where your TV would normally go Google puts a camera.

It's just Google's latest way of knowing everything you're doing.  A spokesman for Google said he hopes you are a single young man living with two sexy females, because that could lead to an endless array of comedic situations!