arrest

Having a body that sexy is a CRIME.

[via I am Bored]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Amanda Bynes got arrested for throwing a bong out her window. Also, looks like a crackhead. 
• A kid was KO'd by a Disney dancer. Just another day at the happiest place on earth.
• Rappers doing amazing things, like making nachos.
• Seth Rogan shows us how to roll a cross joint. Psh as if I don't already know.
• Chicks without bras on! Somebody turn up the AC.
• RentAGrandma is a site where you can rent a grandma.
• This girl is really good at the guitar and should probably drop out of school to be a rockstar.
• Creative ways to open a beer compilation. Bottle openers are efficient but BORING.
• Speaking of beer, Hanson launched a beer called MmmHops. Title perfection.
• A mom called the cops on her son because he stole her Poptarts. They're a hot commodity, if you toast them.
• How to travel is basically how to get away with shit at hotels.
• And here's Rihanna's ass in some kind of denim thong because why the hell not.

[photo via NY Daily News]

I'm guessing he had an unregistered Supersoaker.

[via Acid Cow]

How bad can racial profiling be if you get a free tiara?

[via Izismile]

Shoulda gone with your "Arrest Me If You Have A Tiny Weener" t-shirt.

[via Happy Place]

"Yes, sir, this is the real life.  And we are currently filming a video confirmation of that fact."

(Note: If the video doesn't start at the 3:30 mark, jump ahead to the 3:30 mark.)

[via The High Definite]

Now you know why we didn't go to USC. Even SpongeBob SquarePants isn't safe around their students.

[via TMZ]

It's hard being a woman. We're the weaker sex. And since we don't have muscles and deep voices, we have to work with what we do have.

Boobs.

That's why Stephanie Robinette used her God-given weapons to spray milk all over the deputies that tried to arrest her.

Stephanie faces charges including disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. But those policemen face a lifetime of knowing what breast milk tastes like. So she's the real victor in the end.

[via Weird News]

Our old pal Antoine Dodson was back in the news over the weekend after being arrested for marijuana possession and some other misdemeanor charges that are less exciting than marijuana possession in his hometown of Huntsville, Alabama.

According to an incident report, officers confiscated a "small bag" of marijuana.

It's nice to see the Huntsville Police out doing their job, busting people for possessing small bags of marijuana.

Hey, by the way, Huntsville Police, did you guys ever find that rapist??

You should keep looking.  He might have a small bag of marijuana on him!

[via TMZ]

Then at noon, they'll gladly give you a tour of an empty jail cell.

[via reddit]