baby

Like any good dad, he just didn't want to drip gyro sauce on his newborn's soft spot.

[via Uber Humor]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The best (fake) tweet about Kim and Kanye's baby. If it were real I'd like Taylor Swift a lot.
• A drunk chick falling over. Flipping tables with her face and shit.
• Father's Day Rube Goldberg. Remember Tosh's Nutcracker Rube Goldberg??
• Fabio picking people up at Whole Foods. What's weird is I've literally seen him at a Whole Foods before.
• 8 bizarre overdoses. Mine would be Fun Dip.
• LOTS of pics of girls and their boobs. Monday? More like Funday.
• A rave dancer who knows a thing or two about popping.
• 50 best bathroom graffitis. I usually just write my number and some tits.
• A great dane won't get out of his bed. And by bed I mean one with a frame and everything.
• Guinea Pig armor makes total sense. So many uses.
• A bear climbs a tree and scares the shit out of this guy who happens to be in it.
• And pizza nachos. Mind blown.

[photo via No Way Girl]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Eyeball licking is a thing in Japan, and it's causing pink eye. Neat.
• Advice from TV dads, which somehow doesn't include "stay off the pole."
• A Kate Upton naked body paint gif. It looks like she's wearing clothes but she isn't!!
• 29 people who are doing it right. 30 if you count me not wearing pants right now.
• A baby tries to eat the food in a magazine. What a stupid baby!
• Behind the scenes at the Tonys looks STRESSFUL.
• A ladybug playing with sprinkles is my #1 find of the day.
• One Million Moms doesn't like the new sexy Kraft ads. What, you don't want to be One Million Horny Moms?
• 10 facts about farting is both silly and informative.
• Girls in yoga pants. Guys, you'll only get them if you lose the beer gut.
• And a bonus link! The women of the Hooter's swimsuit pageant. What the hell is that, you ask? Good question.

[still via Huffington Post]

What if I gave you ONE stripper, but it was a baby? I hope that's okay, Cameron.

Leave your suggestion for next week's Fan Favorite video in the comments!

Wait 'til they start potty training her. Saran wrap. On. The seat.

[via College Humor]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Sloth facing is a new thing. Sloths. So hot right now. Sloths.
• Fan reactions to Games of Thrones. Don't worry, guys. They're actors and they didn't actually die.
• A 22-year-old was arrested for the 77th time. It's his lucky number!
• 15 deformed sports fingers. The Shocker just got a lot more interesting.
• Here's an otter juggling rocks. Also fifty of them can fit in a clown car.
• Budweiser wants to connect your cup of beer with Facebook. Can't we just drink in peace?!
• 20 photos of women in the kitchen, looking sexy and probably not making you a sandwich.
• A baby has an intense phone call with her dad. Pacing like a motherfucker.
• Cotten Eye Joe/Gangnam Style mash-up? If you must, internet. If you must.
• Jim Harbaugh chuckling at a Judge Judy Taping. He's an NFL football coach, nerdz.
• And having sex on a pile of money with an internet stranger leads to robbery. I guess next time you'll just have to fantasize that the money's there.

[photo via Buzzfeed]

So with a flick of my magic blogging wand… 

Is it too late to have a 300th trimester abortion?

And don't forget to check out the other people who deserve fame!

[via Daily of the Day]

I know you're not supposed to hold a baby by its head, but what if you're using metal claws?

[via Break]

Are there carbs in baby formula?

[via The Chive]

Tonight's episode: "THE PARK BENCH."

[via Izismile]