bell

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• This might be the sexiest video on YouTube. The simplicity of it!
• A deer plowed through a bus window and lived to tell his deer friends about it.
• An inmate is suing Taco Bell for stealing his idea for the Doritos Locos shell. I believe him because if I were in jail I'd be coming up with great Doritos inventions as well.
• This power lift is 100% beast mode. Russia.
• What happens to the losing team's championship shirts? You will not be surprised by this.
• Don't be afraid of love!! God dammit this is a good video.
• Rihanna LOVES fingering herself. What! That's what her shirt says!
• A man robbed a store. His defense is that the store's called Finders Keepers. Fair argument, case dismissed.
• A dog is crying while watching Mufasa die in The Lion King. I feel you, bro.
• And a shopping cart fail compilation. It's as if the only thing they're good for is holding your groceries.

[photo via Barstool]

I'd be spending my gold coins on cheesy gordito crunches, anyway.

[via Ratsoff]

You gotta work a lot of hours to afford a chain.

[via The Clearly Dope]

This morning, the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

A quick statement of facts: Tosh.0 is on Comedy Central; Comedy Central, like MTV, is owned by parent company Viacom; Viacom was created by God himself on the 8th day when, after resting, he realized he wanted to watch basic cable television.

So what's this mean for us?  Well, it could mean that possibly Daniel Tosh is not that far behind to receive the honor of ringing the NYSE's opening bell!

Or it could mean that Viacom is officially in the toilet and we'll all be out of work soon.

I'm hoping this is a good sign.  I mean, honestly, would JWoww associate herself with an inferior product?

[Note: As of writing this, Viacom stock is down.  Where are The Situation's abs when we need them!]

[via The Daily What]