bin laden

Do NOT eat one of these.

It was an absolute terror on my stomach.

[via Izismile]

Leave it up to NMA, Taiwan's #1 animated news source (one can only assume), to give you the most accurate retelling of yesterday's events you will ever see.

Judging by all the Jack Daniel's bottles and Four Loko cans on Osama's floor, U.S. forces were tipped off to his whereabouts after neighbors complained that he was hosting an all-night college drinking party.

If only he had turned Mumford & Sons down to a reasonable volume…

[via The Daily What]

In case you've been living in a cave for the past 12 hours, Osama bin Laden is dead.

I intended for "living in a cave" to be a pun, but turns out Bin Laden had been crashing in a swanky Pakistani compound.  Just one more thing he ruined… my pun.

The Internet immediately reacted the best way it knows how: with image macros.  The one above has been popular, summing up the past week's events quite nicely.

Maybe now we can finally lower the Terror Alert Level to green.  Wait, what's that?  The Obama administration also got rid of the Homeland Security Advisory System last Tuesday and replaced it with a system that isn't based around meaningless colors??  What a week!

[image via Reddit]

That's right, Bin Laden is in Washington, DC.

Now Ahmadinejad tells us!  Come on, man!  Why have you been holding this information from us?!  It's almost as if he doesn't like us or something…

The thing is, I'm not sure if I believe the Iranian President.  I mean, how many livable caves are in the DC area.  Few that I know of.  And I've heard Osama really prefers to live in a cave.

[via Milk and Cookies]

The Huffington Post is just one of the many online news sources helping the fight against terrorism by publishing new "digitally-enhanced images" showing what an aged Osama Bin Ladin might look like.

Yeah, because that's why we can't find him.  I actually bumped into him down at the Modells sports where he was picking up replacement ping pong balls, but I just didn't recognize him.

This is basically the FBI equivalent of "busy work."

At least the FBI can take solace in knowing that this will increase false tip calls from 70-year-old women who just took a cab back to Queens.