bird

"Hold on a second here, honey.  Let me check out the lunch time deal."

"Dear lord!  That woman isn't kissing a penis at all!  She's kissing a bird!  It's one thing for a woman to be putting a beautiful penis near her lips, but a filthy bird…  Disgusting.  Let's take our business elsewhere."

[via I Am Bored]

I can't tell what's going on, Seagull. Because you just showed me one aerial shot and then the rest was a sexy pair of legs.

They wouldn't have stopped for a black swan.

We received nearly fifteen hundred comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Mike Jones.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Canada has been tightening up border security.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Carl de Souza/AFP/Getty Images]

The hare wasn't going to lose this time.  He ordered a hit to have the tortoise taken out Nancy Kerrigan-style.

Twitter user Guy Dayan (aka @guygo) created a cool little Twitter "hack" reminiscent of when people started hacking their Top 8 back in the golden days of Myspace.

By encouraging 30 people to change their Twitter profile image and then following those 30 people in a particular order, Guy was able to transform his list of who he is following into an image of a bird.  (Watch his whole process above.)

To fully comprehend the experience, I decided to try to recreate his Twitter bird design with my own account.  And, yes, I was successful.

Problem is, I then decided it's about time I started following America's Funnyman Neil Hamburger and that jerk unintentionally screwed up my awesome Twitter bird.

So basically, this Twitter hack is great, assuming two things:

1) You never want to follow anyone else again.

2) The 30 people don't conspire against you to change the image from a bird to someone's balls or something.

Oh, that reminds me: I am looking for 30 volunteers that are willing to use a harmless pic that I'll send them, as their profile pic.  And by harmless, I mean it's probably 1/30th of a pic of someone's balls.

Oh, so the moral of the story: This probably foreshadows the end of Twitter, just like it foreshadowed the end of Myspace.

Good riddance.

It can make a Star Wars themed movie that people want to watch without using digital effects.

That bird has more talent in his little body than George Lucas has left in any one of his infinite chins.

[via Today's Big Thing]

We received over a thousand comments for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by rob m.

Call PETA! Forcing anything to watch soccer is cruel and inhumane.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSHSMOM to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

After referee Koman Coulibaly disallowed the U.S.'s
go ahead goal, a number of fans flipped him the bird.

[via juliasegal]