bite

"Relax, I saw this in Space Jam."

[via Imgur]

Santa would help, but he's the one holding the camera. (And jerking off.)

[via I Am Bored]

You know what they say: the quickest way to a man's heart is by biting his entire nipple off like a psychopath.

[via I Am Bored]

Your weekly guide to the source material used in this week's episode of Tosh.0.

• Girl Scout Cookies Vlog (above)
• Flinstone Gym
• House on Fire
• Mad DJ
• Horse Bite
• Video Breakdown raw clip: Escalator Wheelchair Fail
• Low Cliff Jump
• It's a Shark!
• 100m Dash Gone Wrong
• Homeless

Last week, a video of a lizard playing this Ant Crusher game went viral.

Turns out a bullfrog isn't going to put up with that shit — chasing after fake ants like an idiot.

"Why don't you download that app that will reattach a thumb, bitch!?"

[via The Daily What]

"Well-behaved women rarely bite other women's breasts." -Marilyn Monroe

[via IHC]

Wednesday night, 69-year-old wheelchair bound Milton Ellis was attacked by a 22-year-old vampire at an empty Hooters in St. Pete, Florida. According to Milton, who brought her back with him to the empty restaurant, Josephine Smith�bit his face and neck and yelled about being a vampire.

Josephine recently studied ?dental assisting? so it's possible she was just treating his neck for cavities and she's very bad at her trade. But maybe she really is a vampire. In which case, go for someone way younger and hotter than Milton Ellis!

That's rule number one of vampirehood, Josephine. You have to fall in love with a highschooler.

[via The DW]

Joke's on him.� Do you know how hard it is to get the smell of bear off a pair of jeans?

[via Tastefully Offensive]

Your weekly guide to the source material used in this week's episode of Tosh.0.

• Motorcycle Stalls
• Dog Mouth
• Snake Bites Woman's Breast (above)
• Simultaneous Swing Fail
• Cow Drinks Own Milk
• Video Breakdown raw clip: Cliff Jump Fail
• Huge Splinter
• Web Redemption raw clip: Board Breaker
  
• Little Kids Dance Battle