Wake Up, Man Baby
Posted: 05/14/13
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[ABOVE: Lady Gaga attempts to doom humanity.]
In further proof that a lack of understanding for what causes natural phenomenon extends beyond Juggalos, Yahoo! News reports that "A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes."
That explains why Chile got one of the largest earthquakes of all time this year: When I think Chile, I think filthy whores.
But yes, joking about natural disasters is wrong. Still, it's not as wrong as Iran's claim that promiscuous women can cause earthquakes. If that was true, the ground would have opened up and swallowed the San Fernando Valley like 15 years ago.
Wha… Wait a minute… Could it be??
If sluts did cause earthquakes, it would prove my theory that Lady Gaga is an evil plot to destroy the world.
I feel so conflicted right now.
[via Cynical-C]
Just as they were digging out of Snowmageddon, the East Coast is once again being hit by another major snowstorm.
All this snow has caused a number of people to ask, "What happened to global warming?"
In fact, TIME.com posed just that question earlier today. Their answer:
"Brace yourselves now…. There is some evidence that climate change could in fact make such massive snowstorms more common, even as the world continues to warm."
That's right: Global warming can actually cause more snow!
I for one have decided to jump on this bandwagon immediately. If more warmth can cause more snow, I think pretty much everything is fair game for making global warming the fall guy. Here's other stuff I'd like to toss on global warming's blame list:
See how easy it is?! Lay blame to all of your problems on global warming. You'll be glad you did!

The New York Daily News reported over the weekend that "Twitter becomes key evidence in case after Jameg Blake charged with murdering friend, cops say."
The provocative headline raised some eyebrows in the social networking community, as it hints at the idea that somehow Twitter may be responsible.
I agree. Why is this news? Why is the media always trying to paint technology as the devil or the latest trend as some sort of source of evil?
Here are some headlines you would NEVER see:
Why would you never read those headlines? Because you don't call out a specific product or service unless that product or service is directly responsible for what happened!
Yes, the parties involved in the murder were tweeting up until the incident, but I'm sure they were doing other things too. Maybe they were eating at Taco Bell or watching Jersey Shore or filing their taxes.
Beware! Eating at Taco Bell can turn you to a life of crime!
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