Our favorite tan hamster has written a novel called "A Shore Thing", the content of which will make you want to drop what you're doing and head for the nearest online bookstore.
Whet your appetite with these nuggets of brilliance:
"Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."
"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."
I once had an argument with Mike that began with my proclamation that Snooki, in her own way, is somewhat of a genius.
Well. When you're right. You're right.