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"Will this thing ever end? She was a toddler. This memorial has been longer than her actual life."
[via journo-fascist profiteer]
This interview went from boring to great in a matter of seconds. And that's because the news is less entertaining than a plastic bag.
Here is a list of some other things on television that could be improved by adding a plastic bag!
Every other news show, Whitney, Dancing With The Stars, Whitney, Two Broke Girls, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-O, Hart of Dixie, Terra Nova, House, Last Man Standing, Body of Proof, Unforgettable, NCIS, NCIS: LA, Whitney, Ringer, Glee, Biggest Loser, Parenthood, Suburgatory, The Middle, Revenge, Free Agents, Up All Night, Harry's Law, Grey's Anatomy, Person of Interest, The X Factor, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Whitney, Bones, Whitney, Once Upon A Time, Grimm, Allen Gregory, The Good Wife, Desperate Housewives, and Whitney.
I'm sure I forgot some. But what's important is that the bag makes it's way to the set of Whitney.
I've seen one movie this year… MacGruber.
I really liked that film because it had a strong moral: Movies suck and you shouldn't waste your time seeing them.
If I wanted to sit in an uncomfortable seat and essentially stare at a wall for two hours, I would take a slightly larger dose of mushrooms than usual. And oddly enough, that experience seems as if it wouldn't be that dissimilar from the apparent mind-blowing confusion that is Inception.
All I can take away from this crazy infographic is that in the middle is a giant area labeled "limbo" which I can only assume is where my brain would be if I was forced to sit through this movie for 2 hours and 28 minutes.
But I'm sure you all think Inception was fantastic, so maybe you can explain this graphic to me and convince me to see it?
[via The High Definite]
Facebook officially announced earlier today that the site has reached 500 million members.
In theory, that means amazingly over 7% of the world population uses Facebook on a regular basis. In theory, communism works. In theory, I'm a strong enough writer to not have to steal a joke from a 1994 Simpsons episode.
How did Facebook celebrate?! They released the most… boring video… I have… ever… ugh….
Yikes, if that's how Facebook likes to celebrate such a giant milestone, I'd hate to see what their office parties are like.
In the end, I just wish Mark Zuckerberg was as good at reading cue cards as he is at creating social networks. Maybe one of his 499,999,999 other Facebook members can teach him how to live a little, dude.
Is Richard Branson on Facebook? Hit that guy up!