break up

BUT: I would never dump Chris Meloni, and neither would you.

[via Daily of the Day]

All right. Your permanent decision-making�privileges�have been revoked.

[via imgur]

I just got back from a wedding so I'm high on love and happiness. But that's no way to start a Monday on the Tosh.0 blog!

Let's bring things back to more familiar ground.

[ooJLEoo]

The premise is simple: David McCandless and his team searched 10,000 Facebook status updates for the phrases ?break up? and ?broken up" and used that information to create the graph you see above.

The idea: To try and paint a general picture of when Facebook users choose to end relationships.

The results are telling: Your significant other wants to bang other people during Spring Break.� Additionally, he/she doesn't want to go visit your family for the holidays.� Or maybe he/she wants to be single so he/she can bang your family members over the holidays.� I'm not here to judge; I'm looking at the same graph you are.

Regardless, if you're trying to end your streak of being "forever alone," right before Christmas seems to be the time to make your move.� A lot of people just got the ax.

On the flipside, if you want to avoid getting dumped, try only talking to your significant other once a year on Christmas Day.� It's the lowest break up day of the year!

[via Mashable]

Other items from this seller:

The Notebook…boring…like the slut who made me watch it.

Cat…bitchy…like the ho that named it "Mocha".

Litter Box…full of shit…like the tramp who wanted that stupid cat in the first place.

Laundry Basket of women's clothes…expensive, wrinkled, dirty…like the skank who's definitely not getting her shit back.

[via Reddit]

The image to the right has been making the rounds on the Internet.

People think there is something bizarre about responding to a conversation with the simple response of "Penis."

But is this really that exciting?� I have a friend Mark who used to do this all the time.� In fact, his response of "Penis" was so common, I actually emailed to ask him if this screengrab was from him.

His response:

"I have done that so many times I can not remember if that is one of mine or not. You have been penis'd!"

See?� This is old hat.� He even has a phrase describing the act: "being penis'd."

If you've never had someone reply to you in a conversation by simply saying "Penis", you obviously haven't had enough conversations!

[originally via Reddit]

Dump4u.com is a site where you can pay someone to break up with your significant other for you. It costs only ten dollars for a regular breakup, 25 for an engagement breakup, and 50 for a divorce and they use "4 U" instead of "for you." How adorable. They then record the breakups and put them online! As much class you could expect from a site that makes money off calling people and telling them someone else doesn't love them anymore. It's almost as bad as using the internet to anonymously tell someone you gave them an STD; but there are sites for that too.

Who would ever have thought the internet was such a passive aggressive dating nightmare? After the jump, I'll tell you who.

[via Unique Daily]

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