"…Bingo. Woodworking accident."
[via The Chive]
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Hi, Mike Pomranz here.
Forget everything you've ever learned about how to use a firearm responsibly, okay?
[I shoot a face into a pumpkin.]
I think that'll do.
[I move the jack-o'-lantern to my porch.]
Alright, we got this old boy on the porch where it belongs.† As opposed to my home shooting range where it definitely didn't belong.
Mike Pomranz doesn't give away candy on Halloween.† Hopefully, this guy'll help me scare away all the annoying little kids.† Those kids are probably also scared because they just heard about 38 gunshots coming from my backyard this afternoon for no apparent reason.† Plus all the parents in the county know I'm a creepy old man who carries around a loaded glock.
[via The Daily What]
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