Tosh.0 Blog

Gary Busey's Online Commencement Speech

Posted by: Sam Jarvis | June 14, 2013 at 4:00PM

Busey was given two honorary doctorates and a mandatory restraining order.

PS: Intimate tooth.

[via Daily of the Day]

What You're Missing On The Internet

Posted by: Sam Jarvis | May 22, 2013 at 4:30PM

Screen shot 2013-05-22 at 12.13.29 PM

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

[photo via Buzzfeed]

How To Have Sex With An Inner Tube, By Gary Busey

Posted by: Sam Jarvis | January 25, 2013 at 2:00PM

How To Use An Inner Tube Romantically When You're On Your Own:

1) Flatten inner tube

2) Cut hole in it (size of Oreo)

3) Go to Marine Supply Office… Depot. Buy rubber hosing, put around the hole of the inner tube. It will look like Janice Dickinson's lips.

4) Find pleasure by yourself in a beautiful body of water (trees, birds chirping, doves honking)

5) Insert your pleasure body parts into the hole

6) Push and pull inner tube

7) Smile, act like nothing's happening

8) Send Christmas card to inner tube company.

[via Barstool]

Tags: 

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The Internet Is Magic

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 15, 2013 at 3:00PM

Buseys are special. They can see and hear things that normal people can't. They sit on hills, smoke cigars and talk about Lord Of The Rings characters for no apparent reason. They tend to travel alone. I don't know how a male or female Busey apparatus works but it must be working in some way because there's also Jake Busey. Doggone Buseys, they're so cute. Can't tell the boys from the girls which must make it exciting for them. Buseys wear NFL hats and they always get stuff done quickly efficiently and to the T. They can finish a pint of Jager in under 6 seconds and also their skin is the color of ham.

[via thebuseyzone]

This Makes Me The Happiest Person In The World

Posted by: Sam Jarvis | July 31, 2012 at 10:00AM

Oz has the best hearts. Would you go get me two? Utah, gimme two!

[via The Daily What]

Tags: 

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