cage

Someone put cocaine in my birdseed and I've never felt more alive.

[via Acid Cow]

Let's be honest, if this kind of behavior was socially acceptable, I'd be covered in a blanket hiding in a corner right now.

Thank you, dog, for making hating your life cool again.

[via journo-fascist profiteer]

This was Casey Anthony's alternate plan.

But now that she doesn't need it, she can let these corgis "accidentally drown" in the family pool.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

There's a harsh truth to face.  No way I'm gonna make it on the outside.  All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole, so maybe they'd send me back.  Terrible thing, to live in fear.  Brooks Hatlen knew it.  Knew it all too well.  All I want is to be back where things make sense.  Where I won't have to be afraid all the time.  Only one thing stops me.  A promise I made to Andy.

But then I think, Fuck, Andy.  I'm a goddamn penguin.  What does he expect from me!?

[via VVV]