cards

Gin!

[via Videogum]

I have a lot of respect for mothers: It's not easy getting shitty Mother's Day cards from your stupid kids and having to think, "I gave birth to this dumbass!?  I'm stuck with this idiot 'til he's 18??"

[via I Am Bored]

The Internet is very into cats.  But at Tosh.0, we tend to be kind of anti-cat.

So for all of the cat people out there who don't get enough cat action on the Tosh.0 blog, I decide to get you a special Christmas card.

Here's Christmas wishes to you and your cat, you sad pathetic loner.

[via The High Definite]

Boston.com reports on the decline in the Christmas card, saying "Season?s greeting cards spread a bit thin this year."

?We see a 10 to 15 percent decline in the overall volume of mailed paper greeting cards this year,?? said Neil Hendry, of Datamonitor, a New York-based retail analysis firm. ?There are two principle reasons: technology and the economy.??

Pardon my Scrooge-itude, but I say good riddance.

You know what Christmas cards are?  Garbage.  Each year people are mailing stacks of garbage to all their friends and relatives.

In the old days, a letter was necessary to send information, maybe tell people what you've been up to.  A Christmas card still tells people what you've been up to, only now, what you've been up to is becoming a douche bag.

Because instead of sending an email, you are sending paper waste and forcing your friends to dispose of it for you.

God, who some people believe created Christmas by the way, has given us the gift of the Internet to spread holiday cheer in a far more environmentally friendly and economically savvy manner.

Just go with it, people!

As long as you don't stoop this low:

Beth Charbonneau…reluctantly swapped a holiday greetings model dating back to the 1800s for this four-sentence posting on Facebook: ?Dear Everyone, Please consider this your holiday card for the year. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, and so on. Sorry to be a lame friend but, really, I?m just not Superwoman. I admit defeat on holiday cards.??

No, Beth, you are not Superwoman, but you do appear to be a self-righteous, self-centered jerk.

For you, I'll send a stack of Christmas card that you have to throw out.  That seems like a proper punishment.

[via Reddit]