The second part of this video is filmed entirely from the cat's point of view and it ends with the cat reading his own poetry aloud. I couldn't get the video but here is a copy of the kitty's poem. Warning: This cat's got an attitude.
MEOW, Part II
You?re sharing this house with me, I?m a cat
You bought me at a pet shop in the city. Remember that?
I wasn?t born in a hospital
I didn?t come from your womb
I use my tongue, not a loofah, when it?s time to groom
My point is, Jill, I?m a f*cking cat
You think I want to pee in a toilet?
Why the f*ck would I want that?
I lounge around all day
I eat my meals from a can
And it doesn?t bother me one bit, Jill
Because I?m a cat, not a man
So show me my litterbox
And I?ll f*cking pee there
And you know what, Jill?
If you?re interested, I can share
This conversation looks very similar to when someone is trying to get me out of bed while I have a massive hangover.† I'm not a master of either Japanese or cat language, but I'm pretty sure based on this video that "Meow" is cat for "Shut the fuck up!"
But seriously, does this mean that cats can speak Japanese?† That would leave me very conflicted, because I love my cat, but if he's going to live in our country, I think he really should take the time to learn English.† It's just part of becoming a functioning member of society.
Uhg.† I was out pretty late last night and am still struggling to wake up as I type this.† The only difference between me and this cat is that the cat is slightly less hairy.
But no wonder that cat can't get out of bed.† This whole set up is degrading!† The little bed and chair, the fake bird cage: This cat knows he's being mocked, and I'm pretty sure he realizes the whole charade will end up on the Internet so everyone can laugh at him.
You'd have some pretty severe kitty depression yourself if you were nothing but a living joke.
Dude, that cat just RUINED your perfectly good game of ping-pong!
If a cat ran onto the court during a professional table tennis match, you wouldn't exclaim, "Hey!† It's ping-pong kitty!"† You'd say, "Hey!† Get that stupid f***ing cat outta here!"
But even more appalling is that is video is posted by The Orlando Sentinel on their YouTube page with the following description: "Miss Sadie of Orlando tries to get in on a game of ping-pong during a Thanksgiving family reunion. See more animal news at www.orlandosentinel.com/animal crazy."
"See more animal news"??† How the hell is this "animal news"?† How is this "NEWS"??
Hey, lady, better get this in to "Funniest Videos" quick before the whole world has burned in the apocalypse, which was inadvertently started by The Orlando Sentinel.
I first saw the above imagery of a cat being carried up a flight of stairs by some sort of invisible, ghost-like being in GIF form yesterday.† I was intrigued, but embedding a GIF can be a pain my ass, so I figured I'd just let it slide.
This morning, a number of blogs have linked to the video version, so now, I share with you.
If you're wondering what this is, let me explain: It is a master amalgamation!† Someone has combined cat torture and human torture into one glorious 33 second clip.
Supposedly, this was what Artie Lange was watching moments before he stabbed himself nine times.† Can you blame him?
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