chase

OK, how much money will it take for you to stop doing that?

[via Izismile]

Here are all of the clips from tonight's episode that are available on our site:

• This week's Web Redemption was Gingers Have Souls (above)
• We found out what Daniel will be wearing
• A guy made a corny invention
• Someone got front row seats to a car chase
• We watched an assassination attempt in this week's Video Breakdown
• We had some Porch Time With Mema
• Daniel introduced us to Sports or Consequences
• And Daniel partook in some Textual Harassment.

"I wish that tortoise would stop chasing me around!  I also wish I could walk.  But at this point I'd settle for the tortoise not chasing me around."

[via The Clearly Dope]

I hate going to the bank…  The lines, the tellers, the fact that I am broke.

So I'm happy to see that earlier this month Chase Bank [not my bank] began offering an iPhone app [not my phone] that allows people to deposit checks simply by snapping a picture of the front and back of their signed checks.

Um, has Chase heard of Adobe Photoshop?  Or as I like to call it "Adobe High-School-Kids-Committing-Check-Fraud."

Plus there are other implications.  Like when you get drunk and try to cash a picture of your ass at four in the morning.  Or when you accidentally forward Chase that picture of your dong you keep on your phone "for the ladies."  Or when you have to serve 18 months probation for committing check fraud.

I have a better idea: Let's just get rid of checks all together.  We live in modern times for heck's sake.

I know it would make your grandmother's trip to the Piggly Wiggly slightly more nerve-racking, but bitch needs to get direct deposit and a check card!