christmas lights

You know, in case you're bored of the same old menorah.

[via The Clearly Dope]

The problem is, one light burns out, your entire computer shuts down.

Then you gotta check every single bulb before you can finish your term paper.  It's festive, but a bitch.

[via Reddit]

This Christmas the government gave me the gift of a suspended license.

[via Not Safe for Human Consumption]

All I want for Christmas is a sternly-worded letter from the homeowner association.

[via Happy Place]

But this is the South. So Grandma got her revenge and we all had venison steak for dinner!

[via izismile]

Jesus didn't even have electricity.  What the fuck does he care!?

[via Break]

Because nothing says Christmas like the lyric "before you see the light you must DIIIIIE". Except maybe this:

Bastard sons begat your cunting daughters,
Promiscuous mothers with your incestuous fathers
Engreat souls condemned for all eternity,
Obtained by immoral observance a domineering deity

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

[via The HD]

The guy who last year brought us Christmas Light Hero — a fully functional Guitar Hero-style video game made out of his house's Christmas lights — is back again, this time with Snowball Blaster!

Snowball Blaster is basically Christmas Light Hero, but the opposite: Players guide Santa's sleigh away from incoming snowballs.

Way to phone it in this year, dude.  You are now officially the laziest Christmas light-themed video game designer I have ever heard of.

Don't worry.  The above photo is a set-up.  A joke.  A gag.

From the original blog post: ?I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever."

He continues:

"A 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn?t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn?t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.?

Here's the problem: This little prank has gone completely viral, which means even more people are going to imitate it, which means we are going to have cars driving up on lawns all across the country.  (Except in Detroit, where passersby will shrug and maybe shout a fleeting heckle.)

So, from now on, whenever you see someone in trouble, just ignore it.  It's all a set-up.  People never actually get hurt.  And if someone does get hurt, then maybe they'll learn their lesson!

That's the holiday spirit!!

See.  A little creativity can go a long way.

As a kid, my parents used to drive us around to look at all the Christmas light decorations.  We never saw anything like this, which is unfortunate, because those drives were the most boring part of the holiday season.

Something like the display above would have really spiced things up.  Plus, I could have kept that house in mind for years later when I needed a neighbor to buy us beer.

Thankfully, now the Internet can replace all that quality family time spent in the car.  And if Christmas light images start going viral, that'd be great for all those overzealous homeowners with excessive light displays intended to show up their neighbors who could really care less.

Let's move that competition out of the cul-de-sac and take it worldwide!  Why be the arrogant dick of the subdivision when you can be the biggest dick on the web!  …in a Christmas light sense, not a pornographic sense.

[via Reddit]