"Excuse me, professor.  On what days am I supposed to be shufflin' again?"

[via Izismile]

I'm glad to see someone has their priorities straight.

It goes: 1) Basic cable television, 2) Video games, 3) Class, 4) Having a girlfriend.

Wow, that's embarrassing. She's dreaming about cannons. What a weirdo!

[via IAB]

Pop quiz: At what velocity is Phoebe's physics grade dropping?

Dear our teacher Lili,
You know when you're
boring the class.
Seriously,
It's when we're all looking
down at our crotches
and smiling.
Sincerely,
Students

[via Izismile]

Hey, at least kids at the Jersey shore are finally in school getting an education.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

If you have class on Thursday night, you might just want to call it off.

I can't believe you guys are reading this right now. Jeff's professor specifically said not to!

At least take notes or something. E=MC2.

I always wanted to be a teacher.

We also SWALLOW. (That's not an acronym for anything.)

[via FailBlog]

I'll admit I have no idea where Indiana is. Or Iowa. And I always get Kansas and Kentucky confused. Don't get me started on Europe.

Listen, we can't know everything. We only have room in our brains for so much.

But even if I can't pinpoint Ethiopia (that's in Europe, right?) I can still tell you with a degree of certainty that two children do NOT equal the length of a football field.

That's Chemistry 101, people.

[via The DW]

Wait, they're not paying you for that?

Me neither. But for some reason, I watched the whole thing.

Hold on, you're assuming that Applejack and Rainbow Dash have the same mass? Please. Anyone who knows anything about My Little Ponies knows that Applejack is a country girl who grew up on a pony farm working hard to grow her family's apple business. So she likely weighs much less than the very muscular and well-fed Rainbow Dash.

Anyway. Carry on. You were saying something about science?

[via College Humor]

I came across this bizarre image on Reddit this morning.

Not entirely sure what to make of it.

I'm not that into the meme thing, but this response came to mind…

Anyway, I hope that hair found a good home.  It really deserves better than a chalkboard ledge.

[via Reddit]

If this is English class, I'd like to point out you're missing an apostrophe there. Contractions, girl. Contractions!

Okay, carry on.

Everybody gets an A!

I couldn't agree more, Hayley…

The educational value of Tosh.0 has long been overlooked.

How else would students know the answer to big questions like, "Is it racist?"

Kids!  Listen!!

Your education is important.  Otherwise you might fall into a career as a blogger.

But it's not so important you should risk your life over it.  Sometimes you're late and you should just bite the bullet.

You ever hear the phrase "better late than never"?  That saying was coined by the English writer John Heywood in 1546 while explaining to his mistress that his wife, who he despised, had at last died of the plague.

See, you're learning stuff right now and you didn't have to rush anywhere or bang your head against a desk or nothin'!  Granted, much of the information I have presented to you is historically suspect, and some of it I straight made up, but at least you didn't get hurt.

And that's what's important.  Safety first!  Who coined that phrase?  Probably some other jerk.

[via YepYep]

The first Monday of 2010.  Can you feel the love?

The ironic thing is this class failed their group project on Of Mice and Men for a lack of teamwork, but for their "getting a picture of us flicking off our teacher on the Internet" project, they did just fine.

[via The Daily What]

Now this is funny.  You see, typewriters are an antiquated technology.  Most people take notes on a laptop computer these days.  That's the joke!

This reminds me of the time the always hilarious Jim Lehrer had scheduled an interview with Former President Gerald Ford.  Well, Ford is getting all peeved because the typically punctual Lehrer was running late.  Then, in stumbles Jimmy with this giant machine and says, "Sorry, I couldn't find a replacement vinyl belt for my Dictaphone Time Master!"

Ford's jaw just drops.  For a second, he thinks he's on Candid Camera and starts glancing around for the hidden Betacam.  Then Lehrer is, like, "I'm just kidding, Jerry!" and he whips out the fanciest Picocassette recorder you could buy with a Diners Club card!

We all had a hardy laugh that day!

[via I Am Bored]

Thank God for the internet —  without it, we wouldn't get to see how these people instill their family values into their kids.  
It's not easy to raise a little one, but these people manage to do so and post it online to teach other parents the same.  Let's take a look into this incredible child rearing knowledge, shall we?

After the jump, see the full list of important values people are teaching their children across the country. "America the beautiful" is right.  Children are the future!

Sharing: Sharing is caring, we all know that, and so does this kid who is adorably nourishing his father by feeding him a beer. I hope dad doesn't black out and swear at you later, little buddy!  If he does, you're still learning a lesson!  See how great this is!?

Class: This kid's got it, and expresses it through his clothing choices even at his young age. His parents must love when he dresses like this because it speaks so much about their family.  He's got a huge @#%$, get it?!  Family jewels, indeed!  Classy.

Dedication: This kid is knocking it out of the ballpark.  He's going to do "trailer trash chic" and he's going to do it right.  He doesn't pass up one detail, because he's fully dedicated and his parents taught him to always put forward 110% in everything he does.  Note the peace sign.  I admire this kid.

Passion:  Sure, this kid couldn't possibly have money riding on this game enough to be furious that the other team just scored.  But his father does, and that's all that matters.  Way to raise your kid with an early onset anger problem sense of true enthusiasm.  This 3 year old CARES what's happening in the world!  That is rare!  Kudos, parents!

Intelligence:  It's not easy to realize conventional toys won't teach your child like a pistol will, but this is life — we all take chances — and these parents know that.  The fact this kid is risking blowing his face off is a better lesson that any stupid Playskool toy could teach, right?  He's going to be a real smart one with parents like these. A+ parenting.

Respect: You meet the President of the Mo'Fo' United States and you don't shake hands, you fist bump.  Because who does the President think he is, anyway?  You're 7, you tell him what's what.  Respect your youth, not your elderly, is what I say.

Confidence: Just because I'm in my twenties and have never once taken down a large fry, Big Mac and soda in one sitting doesn't mean I don't aspire to someday.  This kid is my hero and appears to be demanding even more food because he believes in himself.  I am in awe of this little champion.

Courage: Not everyone can pull off this tee shirt; especially anyone else in Oak Grove Elementary's third grade.  This guy's rolling into Mrs. Tullmore's class this year with his head held high.  It doesn't matter he won't know what a woman's naked body looks like until well into his thirties, he's going to use humor to overcome what others may see as an absolute disregard for personal health and power right through it.

Trust: If this kid was taking a normal old, boring picture we wouldn't know if he trusts his parents.  But we do, because why would your dad set you up to pose for a picture telling your mom to F off?  Just trust and smile, like this kid.  He's better than all of us and he knows it.  In fact, I'm glad he's so happy about it.  So F you, moms and dads that don't teach their kids this amazing information.

WBBM 780 in Chicago posted this report yesterday:

"DePaul University will offer a journalism class this fall focused on Twitter.  The class is called 'Digital Editing: From Breaking News to Tweets.'"

And you thought your degree in Philosophy was worthless!

Here are a few other courses I wouldn't be surprised to see soon in the DePaul register.

• Marketing Strategies: Redefining the Idea of Friend to Promote on Facebook
• Advanced Music Industry Workshop: Salvage Your Dying Myspace Network
• Family Dynamics: Understanding Psychology Through Watching Sitcom Reruns on Hulu
• Human Anatomy: What YouPorn Can Teach Us About the Reproductive Organs

[via The Daily What]

There's no need to go to fancy malls and Walmart when you can shop for high class fashion online. Introducing "Winkers," the hottest pants to sweep your lower half!

According to their site,

Winkers is a new business just starting up. We decorate pants, usually jeans, in such a manner that they WINK as you walk. That is, the crease between your buttock and the top of your leg WINKS for you.

And Winkers only cost between $149 to $569, which if you ask me, is worth three weeks' salary.

I got to get me a pair of these puppies before the weekend's here. And I mean puppies painted the back of some high waisted acid washed jeans. I'll be driving the men crazy at the rodeo bars! Roof Roof!  Yeeee-hah!

Thanks internet!

[Dlisted via The Frisky]

So let me get this straight, a little horseplay is not acceptable but using recording videos in class doesn't bother this guy?