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THE ONLY WAY VYTAUTAS WATER COULD BE BETTER IS IF IT WAS BEER!

[via The Daily What]

So if I start taking steroids I'll grow facial hair, right?

I wanna be in the fucking club!

[via BWE]

Who wants to be a rock god?  What year is it?  1994?

Why don't you ask Siri where to get bath salts and a copy of Reason so you can make terrible dubstep music like a normal kid.

"Add Drugburn spelled with an upside-down number 6 to my list of DJ names."

[via The High Definite]

Gong noises and a woman who speaks butchered English with a conical straw hat in a rice paddy field?

I think Pete SpendItNot is trying to tell us this is China.

What do you guys think? Is Pete racist or just really ignorant?

[via The Daily What]

I guess my biggest complaint about the movie Thor, besides the improbability of someone who looks like Natalie Portman being a scientist, was that no gods ate a pizza boomerang that recently severed a flasher's dick.

[via BWE]

Utah! Get me two (cars).

[see more, via BIOTV]

Are you and your spouse miserably arguing over the TV remote every night? Have you given up on wearing anything besides sweatpants? Does the following conversation sound familiar?

"Whatever." "Whatever."

Then, boy, do I have an attorney for you! Better call Saul J. Michael Gallagher!

(That's my second Breaking Bad reference of the day. No shame.)

[via College Humor]

Do you have a small business? Do you have $700? Then you too can have a commercial produced by Kamzilla!

They say money can't buy happiness but I think those of us with an extra $700 lying around know that's not true.

[via Videogum]

Drop the "Wonderful". Just "Pistachios". It's cleaner.

I learned once in an advertising class that a good commercial creates a need. This ad for Divine Rags must be pretty good because all of a sudden I need to be dressed like a Bratz doll.

One Greyhound ticket to Wolfchase Mall, please.

[via Videogum]