Conan

Months! For months and months we've wondered. We've spent sleepless nights waiting and speculating. We've hardly been able to think about anything else.

WHAT WILL CONAN O'BRIEN NAME HIS NEW TELEVISION SHOW???

My first vote would have been American Idol. But seeing how that is taken by some less deserving fools, I'll settle for something else.

Conan.0 maybe? That's got a nice ring to it.

[via Movie Web]

Conan has announced via his Twitter account that he will host a new late-night show on TBS starting this November. Yay! Right?

The cable channel (Mike Pomranz's favorite due to the regularity of Tyler Perry shows and Sex and the City reruns) has bumped George Lopez back to midnight to give Coco the 11pm time slot.

In a statement regarding the deal Conan joked, "In three months, I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly."

I guess this is a good thing. It just kind of came out of left field. But any channel is better than no channel at all. Unless, of course, that channel is ESPN. In which case I'd rather just turn the TV off. Eww, sports.

Thanks to the magical Conan O'Brien and the power of his Twitter account, 19-year-old Sarah Killen can now have her fantasy wedding. After Conan decided to randomly follow Killen on Twitter, she gained 18,000 followers and instant Internet fame.

One result of Killen's new celeb status? Companies are jumping at the chance to help with her big day by giving her custom made shoes and a dress, wedding bands, and even a limo.

Killen told PopEater that Conan is invited to her wedding and "if he wants us to come on his show, we'd get married on there. That would be fantastic."

That would be fantastic, Sarah. If Conan had a show. While you were busy getting sized for your strapless white gown, Conan was busy being fired from his job.

You know why he's following you on Twitter? Because he has a lot of freaking time on his hands. Thanks for rubbing it in. Geesh.

[via People]

No one seemed more upset about Leno taking back The Tonight Show from Conan than the Internet.  And when the Internet gets angry, watch out.  They can meme you right into the depths of hell.

During the fallout, people created what seemed like an endless amount of online content showing their support for Conan and villainizing his new arch-enemy Jay Leno.  So moderators of The Tonight Show's message board probably made a big mistake when they asked the Internet to "post photos, ideas, links, and other things you want Jay to see."

Apparently, people want Jay to see pictures of Conan's orange mug and their own middle fingers.  The original thread has been taken down, but you can see a capture of it here.

Good work, Internet.  Now can we do something about Wendy Williams?

[via Reddit]

Leno may have the show, the cars, the money, the fame, the show, the audience, the show and the chin. But Conan has a portrait made of nearly 2,000 Cheetos. So who's the real winner here?

Certainly not this cheesy artist who grew up thinking he would paint the ceiling of a chapel and sculpt the gods. Waste of talent! How can anyone create a masterpiece if their fingers are covered in sticky orange stuff?!

[via Giagantor]

I don't care what news source you've been using to follow the developments between NBC's late night shows; I've found the news source to trump them all. Just watch the video above and learn what you need to know about Leno, Conan, and NBC in a few short minutes. Don't worry about details, they leave some of it up to you and your own imagination. And if the Internet didn't exist, no one would be able to see this treasure, so thanks for that, world wide web. You're so good to me.

Last week, Conan O'Brien put The Tonight Show on Craigslist (and received a number of interesting offers for the troubled talk show).

On last night's show, sensing his impending free time, Conan put himself up on Craigslist …in the Casual Encounters section.

Luckily, a number of websites (such as The Daily What) posted screengrabs of the Craigslist ad, because if you visit the page right now, you're greeted with the following message:

TMZ reports the ad was flagged by none other than Jay Leno.

That Leno dude just really wants to screw Conan over every way he can.

But I also have to wonder how anything gets flagged for removal on Craigslist's Casual Encounters section, a place where it took me 30 seconds to find "If you've never tried a golden shower before, I would be happy to help you explore."

The blogosphere refuses to get over this whole Leno vs. Conan thing.  It's like all anyone wants to talk about.

What's even more annoying is that all the blogs in the liberal, youth-soaked online media seem to be behind Conan.

What garbage!

Here's why I am a Leno guy:

1. Headlines!  They never get old!!
2. Denim is yummy!  Grr!!
3. What's the deal with Andy Richter??  Leno doesn't need no stinkin' sidekick.
4. Ginger kids.  Gross!
5. Gotta love Indian giving.
6. Cars are really neat!
7. Leno represents my values.
8. I will never forgive Conan for ripping off the Super Mario Bros. background.
9. Without Jay's sensible brand of semi-topical humor, I will never know the results of the latest research studies put out by second-tier public universities.
10. Like Pepe Le Pew, Leno chases after my heart!

Was that convincing enough?

Some of the biggest buzz on the Internet continues to revolve around the drama that has developed with NBC's late night television line-up.

Is Leno going back to 11:35?  What happens to Conan?  Will people keep watching Jimmy Fallon all the way until 2 in the morning?  How the hell has Carson Daly's show lasted 9 seasons?

Now, I know for a fact NBC Universal television Chairman Jeff Gaspin reads the Tosh.0 Blog on a regular basis.  He's scouting me as talent for a yet-to-be-titled network sitcom, the handwritten pilot of which I leave out front of his gated estate multiple times a week.  So I'm going to give him two and a half pieces of advice on how to solve this dilemma.

Two and a Half Men reruns.

Some people may say, "Mike, that show has gotten kind of awkward now that that Angus T. Jones kid is grown up."  To which I would reply, I have no idea what you are talking about.  I've never seen the show.

However, I do know the show is very popular.  And it's dirt cheap!  You can buy the complete fifth season (what many believe is the best season) of Two and a Half Men on Amazon.com right now for only $21.99!

How much are they paying Conan?  He has like a $50 million dollar contract or something??

$21.99!  That's a profit of $49,999,978.01!!

Jeff, just cut me in for 10% and well call it even.  I walk with over $4 million, I'm happy.  I'm willing to negotiate too.  We'll talk.

Speaking of talking, now maybe the Internet can talk about something else for a change!  No one watches late night TV anymore anyways.

…is obviously TMZ.

How do these guys know everything?!

If you are a celebrity, or work in the entertainment business, or know anyone who works in the entertainment business, or even live anywhere near Los Angeles, here's what you need to do:

Look to your left.  Now look to your right.  Everyone you see is a mole reporter for TMZ.

I realize we live in the world of Twitter and compromising Facebook privacy-setting changes, but sometimes, you have to understand that everyone in the world is against you.

When you witness a celebrity death, keep it quiet.  Hide the body in your closet.  Swallow the key.

If you work behind the scenes at a national television network, never leave your office.  Cover your computer screen with a hood and that you duck your head under to check emails (football ref style!)

Don't get yourself wet and definitely DON'T EAT AFTER MIDNIGHT, or you will turn into a crazy monster that can't stop sending TMZ anonymous emails from your old Yahoo account giving away trade secrets about how Kelly Ripa's handlers keep her from terrorizing Manhattan!

Beware.  They walk among us!