craigslist

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The world's most beautiful man. He's definitely got a certain… something.
• A bearded dragon doing an interpretive dance. SPOILER ALERT: It's exquisite.
• Barney voice-over will turn anyone's day around.
• Car wash ladies! Bikinis are fun.
• A caffeine tooth brush kinda makes sense. And now I can drink my french vanilla creamer straight.
• Rooster vs Reporter is a classic animal/live TV freakout.
• A really good Moonwalk. Anytime someone wants to see my Hit My Baby One More Time, let me know.
• Now YOU can design the new Maverick's uniform. I suggest bedazzling.
• Her weird talent is weird and bendy.
• A Smartphone flask. Drunk dialing has never been easier!
• And a bonus link: You liked my beard.

[photo via The Chive]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• 30 high school kids suspended because of twerk video. But the internet made them do it!
• You can't name your baby Anal anymore. Yeah I know. It sucks.
• Some chick took boobie pics during the A's game, marking the first interesting thing to happen at a baseball game.
• Here's Vanilla Ice as Captain Hook… HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THIS.
• Amanda Bynes is playing Strip Twitter with herself lately. Cool fishnets.
• The worst children's toys ever made, besides My First Rifle (too soon?)
• Nipples! Because I've given you enough butts lately.
• Sex toy races are all the rage in Vegas. I hope they treat them humanely.
• Someone's looking for a nudist roommate. If you wanna jack off together that's cool too.
• And for you crazy cats out there, here's 80's Don Draper's Twitter account. Yes.

[photo via Barstool]

"I don't care how long you're standing outside your apartment but if you've exposed the inside of my avocado to air- TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE."

I mean, that's what I assume he wrote back.

[via Reddit]

Normally I don't solicit strangers for sex, but this is an emergency.

[via Fart Daughter]

Not that far off from things I've been paid to do here before.

[via HappyPlace]

Also, straight dudes who have never masturbated to Mila Kunis. Looking for them as well.

[via Videogum]

"Had the abortion after all.  After all this shopping I did!  Ahhahahahahaha!  But seriously, I don't need these fucking clothes anymore."

[via Pleated Jeans]

I'd be totally into her but I don't like dogs.

[via I Am Bored]

Respond with the password "LOOTER4LIFE" and save an additional 10%.
Must provide proof of not being a police officer upon purchase.

[via Blame It On The Voices]

P.S. THOUGH I SHOULD MENTION THERE'S BEEN TONS OF MASTURBATION ON THIS COUCH. I GOTTA GET MY ROCKS OFF SOMEHOW. AM I RIGHT?!

[via Someecards]