deal

Same person that's home in the middle of the day.

[via After 12]

I don't even have a dick and I'd take that deal.

[via The Daily What]

A little secret: Cut the package in half.  You get 22 slices.  Double the value.

[via Reddit]

Are you tired of boring old hot dogs that are shaped like a mixture of meats, spices, binders and fillers that have been forced through a tube into a casing made from the small intestines of sheep?

Me too!

Well, pout no more, spoiled American children! Because the Happy Hot Dog Man is here.

It's impossible to be sad when you're eating a smiling man. IMPOSSIBLE. Just ask Jeffrey Dahmer about the time he tickled a guy while he ate him.

I'm kidding. That never happened.

But for just $10.99 you can create that scene in your very own home! So order now.

[via TBT]

There are very few things I won't do for a free watermelon.

[via Eat Liver]

I just found an amazing deal for you.  15% off.

Or if you want even cheaper, the one with a semen stain is 20% off!

[via BuzzFeed]

Currently available for sale on eBay: a "Time capsule from the future."

Ironically, the guy selling this mystery box IS from the future.  But the time capsule is not.  THAT'S THE SCAM!

At least he provides free shipping.

[via Reddit]